Mary Miller was thrown into an anxious and lonely world when her 15-year-old daughter, Kathy, disappeared from Seattle in 1973.
When her daughter’s body was found near Tulalip a month later, her worst nightmare was realized.
Miller believes her daughter was abducted and killed by Harvey Carrigan, a suspected serial killer, who was never convicted of Kathy’s death, but is now behind bars in Minnesota on a separate murder and abduction conviction.
For the past 34 years, Miller has focused her grief and anger, bringing comfort and knowledge to other traumatized survivors who have lost loved ones to violent crimes.
She has lobbied for counseling services and funding for homicide survivors, helped get victims’ rights laws passed and testified on behalf of victims before a U.S. Senate committee.
She has sat beside survivors during murder trials and sent countless sympathy cards and resource packages in the mail.
Quietly, she has worked behind the scenes to make life a little less lonely for people going through similar ordeals.
This morning, she is among seven people being honored at the Snohomish County chapter of the American Red Cross’ Humanitarian Awards Breakfast at the Lynnwood Convention Center.
Three days a week, Miller, 72, takes the bus from Seattle’s University District to the Everett headquarters of Families and Friends of Violent Crime Victims.
There, she becomes the understanding voice on the other end of the phone to husbands, wives, parents and children of murder victims.
“People are in a state of shock, which I call the ‘zombie state,’ ” she said, sitting at her desk beside a framed display with photos and names of 35 violent-crime victims, including her own daughter. “I tell them it does get better with time.”
Because of her experience, Miller’s words carry weight, said Jenny Wieland Ward, executive director of Friends and Family of Violent Crime Victims.
Wieland Ward first met Miller at a support group meeting after her daughter, Amy Ragan, 17, was killed in Everett in 1993.
Miller told her that she, too, had endured the pain of losing a child to a violent crime, years before, and that time would heal.
Like refuge from a storm, Miller’s reassurance helped inspire Wieland Ward, who would later volunteer, then eventually run the nonprofit organization.
“That was the first inkling I had that I could survive this,” she said.
Miller didn’t have a network of advocates to turn to when Kathy didn’t come home from school one afternoon in May 1973.
Police first suspected Kathy ran away.
Miller knew better.
Back then, there was no Amber Alert, no Center for Missing and Exploited Children, no advocates she could call.
Before she disappeared, Kathy had answered a want ad in hopes of landing a summer job as a gas station attendant.
A man named Harvey Carrigan, who placed the ad, had offered Kathy a ride after school. Miller told her daughter that was not appropriate, and said she should meet him at his place of business.
When Kathy didn’t come home, Miller called Carrigan.
He told her she never showed up for the job interview, she said.
She said she didn’t know what to do, except wait, and wait, and wait.
“That was probably the longest month in my life,” she said.
Miller later learned that Carrigan had previously been released from an Alaskan prison after a murder conviction was overturned.
He was never convicted in Washington, but was later convicted of other crimes that sent him to prison for life.
Ann Rule, author of the New York Times bestseller “Green River, Running Red,” a book about Gary Leon Ridgway, who strangled 48 women in King County, testified with Miller about victims’ rights before the Senate Judiciary Committee.
In a nomination letter to the Red Cross, Rule talked about Miller’s experience escaping war-torn Latvia as a teenager after World War II, suffering the loss of her daughter and raising her developmentally disabled son as a single mom.
“I admire Mary Miller more than almost anyone I know,” Rule wrote. “She has survived unbelievable tragedy, but rather than spending her life mourning her losses, she had devoted herself to helping others who have lost beloved family members to murder.”
Meet the other Red Cross honorees
Award: Service to Snohomish County
Humanitarian work: Helped start the Edmonds Food Bank more than 30 years ago. She has directed the operation for 20 years. The food bank serves more than 300 families weekly.
Award: Service to World Community
Humanitarian work: Transports medical personnel into remote areas of Mexico and Africa to help people otherwise unable to receive medical treatment. He also works to secure funding for equipment, materials and training for the drilling of potable water wells in the developing world.
Award: Student Humanitarian
Humanitarian work: The Archbishop Thomas J. Murphy High School senior, volunteers at Camp PROV, a summer day camp for disabled children and their siblings. He also coordinated a children’s Christmas gift program at Naval Station Everett.
Award: Family of Humanitarians
Humanitarian work: The family has taken statewide and national leadership roles with March of Dimes to assist families affected by premature births.
Award: Service to Red Cross (posthumous)
Humanitarian work: More than 24 years of volunteer work as a Red Cross instructor, HIV/AIDS program development, Armed Forces Emergency Services caseworker and caseworker and chairwoman of volunteers for the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society.
Award: Workplace Service
Humanitarian work: The Herald in Everett has a program that matches gifts for employee donations to qualifying charity organizations.
The newspaper also donates advertising space to nonprofit organizations, and holds various charity fundraisers, including an annual book sale and a weekly potluck.
Reporter David Chircop: 425-339-3429 or dchircop@heraldnet.com.
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