Though he never drew air into his lungs unassisted, that didn’t mean Jacob Daniel Harstad had less of a life.
The 17-year-old went roller skating, had friends, dressed for Halloween and loved blow-out birthday parties. But he never spoke, rode a bike or dove off a diving board at a lake.
A fighter, born with a congenital heart defect, Jacob lived with the help of his family and caregivers. He was fed, bathed and tethered to an oxygen line until he died July 17.
Dr. Nicholas Dechadenedes, his doctor from birth, said Jacob had many afflictions, including a breathing disorder.
“We were Jacob’s servants,” Dechadenedes said. “He had so much strength, but imperfections in his physical form. We did not know he would be here for 17 years.”
His mother is a lioness, the doctor said, who sustained her child. Darla Beasley of north Everett said Jacob was the perfect son.
“We had our own language,” she said. “It was all about unconditional love. He was everything to me.”
Penny Dry, a nurse who cared for Jacob in his teen years at Children’s Country Home in Woodinville, said Beasley’s love for her son was obvious.
“She treated Jacob as a normal kid,” Dry said. “Darla loved that boy with every fiber of her being.”
The facility is home to medically fragile children. Some go to school, like Jacob.
“He did holidays,” Dry said. “He liked to whoop it up.”
One year, he was Pugsley Addams for Halloween.
“It was a privilege to love this child,” the nurse said. “He wasn’t sad. He was a happy, happy kid. There is a big hole in the heart at Country Home.”
Jacob lived at home until he moved to Woodinville seven years ago. Jacob had a baby sister, Samantha Jo. At 12 months, the baby couldn’t roll or crawl. She was born developmentally delayed, like Jacob, and died at age 31/2 in 1997.
Jacob was also preceded in death by his grandfather, Sammy Joe Ramsden. He is survived by his mother, and stepfather, Steve Beasley; his father, Devin Harstad and stepmother Sarah Harstad; grandmother, Shirley Ramsden; grandparents, Gary and Lorna Harstad; and stepsisters, Jordan and Jennifer Beasley and extended families including the Andals, Ramsdens, Beasleys, Kegleys, Guskis, Harstads, and Foresmans.
Like most youngsters, Jacob loved ice cream. David Grant, associate pastor at Northshore Christian Church, said the teen hated chocolate.
“He loved being around kids,” Grant said. “He loved football and action shows on TV. As a teen, he was normal in many ways and he noticed girls.”
One day Jacob was ushered out of a class because he was causing a ruckus. When told, his mother shrieked with joy, because her son had been kicked out of class like any other student.
“He moved his hands and got loud when he was happy.” Grant said. “Jacob had no motor skills. He taught us lessons, tenacity, courage, how to fight and be tough.”
Jacob’s way of giving back was a big smile.
“He was a lesson in grace,” Grant said. “If you looked past the exterior, Jacob taught us.”
He might have learned his caring ways from his mother. Her friend, Jill Larson, said Beasley took care of people.
“To lose two children,” Larson said. “She could curl up in a tight ball, but she doesn’t. Jacob wouldn’t have lived long without her.”
Mother and son had a mutual admiration society.
“People don’t realize the gifts they are given,” Beasley said. “I want to go on ‘Oprah’ and tell people how lucky they are, if only they knew.”
Columnist Kristi O’Harran: 425-339-3451 or oharran@heraldnet.com.
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
