MUKILTEO — A city dealing with the emotional pain of a shooting that killed three young adults and injured another is drawing up plans to show its strength and to offer help to those who are suffering.
Kamiak High School Principal Mike Gallagher invited the public to turn out for the first football game on Sept. 2 where there will be a tribute to the three Kamiak graduates whose lives were taken on July 30: Anna Bui, Jordan Ebner and Jacob “Jake” Long.
Wristbands have been ordered for every Kamiak student with messages such as “Mukilteo Strong” and “Kamiak Courage.” Students will hear about resiliency from a speaker scheduled Sept. 9, the first Friday of the school year. Drop-in counseling will be available at Kamiak.
The school district and city are working to get a school resource officer assigned to the school district. Having a patrol car parked in front of the school “gives me a sense of security and safety,” Gallagher said during a community meeting at Rosehill Community Center Thursday evening.
The event was attended by about 75 people. Some asked how to deal with teens who felt feelings of loss, anger or guilt.
Other plans for the community are in the works as well.
Mukilteo Mayor Jennifer Gregerson said she’s working with the families of Bui, Ebner and Long to form the Mukilteo Strong Alliance. It’s inspired by the recovery committee that was formed in Marysville following the shooting deaths of students in a high school cafeteria there in 2014.
“In the midst of pain and suffering the community has come together,” Gregerson said. “I’m so overwhelmed by the offers of support and care.”
Mukilteo Strong signs seen around town are just one expression of the support, she said. “They do remind us we are a strong community and we’ll make it through.”
The Kamiak graduates were gunned down while attending a house party late last month. A fourth, Will Kramer, also was shot. He is recovering from his injuries. Allen Ivanov, also a Kamiak graduate, is charged with the killings. Detectives suspect that Ivanov, 19, targeted Bui, his former girlfriend, when his hopes for reconciliation failed. The victims had been attending a party in a Chennault Beach neighborhood when they were shot.
Mukilteo’s main goal is to ensure family members and the community have access to support, Gregerson said.
Representatives from nonprofit organizations that can provide help were at Thursday gathering. They included Compass Health, a counseling service, Volunteers of America, which operates a confidential hotline and chatline, Victim Support Services, and Domestic Violence Services of Snohomish County.
Jessica Vann-Campbell, Compass’ associate director of emergency services, said that people move through the stages of grief at their own rate.
Symptoms of grief include crying, headaches, loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, weakness, irritability and feelings of helplessness.
Eat, sleep, get exercise and take care of your body, she said. Try not to isolate yourself.
“Be patient with yourself,” she said. “There is no right way to grieve.”
Take a break from the computer, phone and Facebook, Vann-Campbell said. “It’s easy to become overwhelmed.”
And ask for help from grief and loss groups, she said.
Pat Morris, director of behavioral health for Volunteers of America, said that although the organization has a 24-hour hotline to take calls from people seeking help with emotional distress, the organization hasn’t received one call about the Mukilteo shooting.
“We don’t know when the feelings will come out,” she said. “You’re still in shock. It’s as if you felt that if all the feelings you had came out all at once, it might be overwhelming.”
Morris said the organization is thinking of renaming its confidential toll free hotline and chat service, both of which have the word crisis in their titles.
That may deter some people from using the services, thinking, “I’m not that bad…maybe I shouldn’t call,” Morris said.
The group wants people to know that you don’t have to define yourself as being in a crisis to use the services, she said.
“Don’t wait,” she said. “Pick up the phone and say I need some help; I have a question.”
Michelle Pauley,a therapist with Victim Support Services, worked with the Marysville community following the shootings at Marysville Pilchuck High School.
Some of the issues she saw in people there were difficulty concentrating, hypervigilance, and an aversion to large crowds.
“Trauma and grief trigger past trauma and grief,” she said. “Know that’s normal. Our brains are searching for a way that we’ve dealt with trauma in the past.”
Although teens don’t always open up immediately when parents ask how they’re doing, keep trying, she said. “They’re also worried about burdening you.
“Maybe say you can handle it or you’re hurting too,” Pauley said.
Gregerson said the city is working to organize more meetings for the community.
“This is not the last time we’ll have a space like this to come together,” she said.
Sharon Salyer: 425-339-348 or salyer@heraldnet.com
Find help:
Help is available for teens and adults affected by the July 30 shootings in Mukilteo by calling the Volunteers of America Care Crisis Line at 800- 584-3578 or online at carecrisischat.org.
Compass Health’s Crisis Prevention and Intervention Team may be contacted from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday at 425-349-7447.
Information also is available at the American Psychological Association’s website at www.apa.org.
Community members have set up a Facebook page, the Mukilteo Community Assistance Group, at bit.ly/2aNx7RD
Responses to trauma: Difficulty concentrating, hypervigilance, an aversion to large crowds, crying, headaches, loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, weakness, irritability and feelings of helplessness.
Ways to cope: Try not to isolate yourself. Ask for help, eat and sleep well, get exercise. Be patient with yourself. Give yourself permission to grieve. Take a break from the computer, phone and social media.
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
