Cops have their own funny way of writing things. Sometimes, the detached voice creates hilarity in the blotters.
As a warning, we take identifying factors out of these, because frankly, it’s none of your business if Grandaunt Peggy next door is on a mudslides bender and takes a weed whacker to her armoire or whatever. You get the drift.
“RP reported three times finding a washable white substance on his vehicle. The officer determined the substance was bird excrement.”
“The officer responded to a disturbance between a mother and son. The son had been refusing to follow house rules and agreed to go to bed for the night.”
“RP, who lives on Bothell, had questions about a car being sold in Renton. He was concerned that the seller said that the car had never been in an accident, but Carfax reported that it had. The officer suggested that he might not want to buy it.”
“The officer responded to the report of a dog that lived in the above unit ‘behaving badly’ in the parking lot. The officer spoke with the owner … She put her dog in timeout.”
“Officers were dispatched to a report of an intoxicated female arguing with her sister about the use of a car. One of the sisters reportedly threw the car keys into a nearby pond. Officers determined there had been no assault and the owner of the car did not want to press charges for the loss of the keys.”
“RP reported a male with a sign was standing in the median. The officer had him leave the median. He was protesting against a local business.”
Today’s lesson: When in doubt, get out of the road, and, hello, lady, Cesar Millan.
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