“Report of a man with a blowup doll in the middle of the road. He’s sitting on the doll.”
“Unknown female in the corner is waving at people, unclear if she needs help or is just acting strangely.”
Cop transporting an unruly arrestee:
“I’m going to be nice enough to go get her medication. I’m hoping that’ll stop her from her little stunt.”
“By the way, does our victim have a warrant?”
“Affirmed. He does, and he doesn’t want to be a victim anymore.”
A debate on what to book a woman for:
“I don’t actually care about the trespasser. What did Barbara do to (the officer)?”
“She kicked me in the knee, Sarge.”
“Good enough.”
“As a warning, if you go up Casino Lane and see my complainant, he’s in the middle of a driveway, and he is armed.”
“The kid is telling me that his parents are crackheads.”
“I don’t know about that, but they are pretty shady.”
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