EVERETT — It will be a safe place to speak their names and tell their stories. It also will be a safe place to embrace the grief that comes from losing someone to violence.
Victim Support Services, an Everett-based nonprofit that advocates for crime victims and their families, is planning a weekend retreat for those whose loved ones have died of homicide.
The retreat is a different approach for the agency, which typically hosts a 10-week group session about twice a year for survivors. The idea was to offer some of the same materials with flexibility for people who aren’t able to commit to nearly three months of meetings in Everett or the organization’s two other locations.
“By bringing it into one space, we’re hoping it will meet a lot of the needs for folks who couldn’t make the 10-week groups,” said Christina Harkness, a victim services coordinator for VSS.
The organization provides services to crime victims and their families, such as support groups and courtroom advocacy. This year it also started running the state hotline for crime victims.
Last year the agency served 253 people who lost a loved one to homicide. It’s also provided services to more than 8,700 people, including more than 13,000 hours on the crisis line.
Pamela Andrews attended the 10-week group session last year. Her son, Michael Bippes, was stabbed to death July 7, 2015, on the Interurban Trail in Auburn. The killer hasn’t been caught.
Andrews said the support group was a lifeline to her. “So many people don’t want to talk about it, even you’re own family and friends,” she said. The folks at VSS are compassionate and steadfast, and they allowed her to process her grief without judgment, she said.
“I am sure glad I found out about it. It helped me tremendously,” Andrews said.
The upcoming retreat, “Finding Light after Darkness,” is planned for March 3-5 on Whidbey Island. A $100 donation is suggested to cover the cost of food. The cost is negotiable if it would be a hardship for a survivor, Harkness said.
Registration is required. For more information, call 425-252-6081 or email contactus@victimsupportservices.org.
The retreat will give survivors a chance to talk about their fear, anger, sadness, frustration, or loneliness, Harkness said. There will be discussions led by trained advocates about finding support systems and potential coping mechanisms, such as meditation and relaxation.
Retreat organizers also plan to help participants create a memory box. It isn’t uncommon for survivors to resist crying for fear they won’t be able to stop, Harkness said. The box may be a way for them to express themselves a little at a time.
“It’ll be a spigot approach,” she said.
Organizers are looking at bringing in therapy dogs to the retreat and organizing walks in a garden labyrinth.
“We talk about life before and after,” Harkness said. “We talk about their support systems, before and after. A lot of times people find that their inner support group falls away.”
Participants will meet other survivors who understand what they’re going through. That peer support can be invaluable to people who may feel isolated from other relatives, friends and co-workers.
It’ll be a safe place where people can “say things the rest of the world wouldn’t understand,” Harkness said.
Diana Hefley: 425-339-3463; hefley@heraldnet.com.
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