A math paper is stuck by a magnet to Wilbur and Martha White’s refrigerator door. What parent wouldn’t revel in its written comment? "Super job, 100 percent," it says.
Wilbur White is 93. The pupil whose schoolwork is proudly displayed is neither the Stanwood couple’s grandchild nor great-grandchild.
White and his 62-year-old wife are foster parents.
The Stanwood High School junior now sharing their home is one of nearly 50 children they have cared for over the years.
"She’s getting good grades. She didn’t used to go to school a lot of the time," Martha White, a retired middle school teacher, said of their foster child.
For more than 12 years, the Whites have taken in young people through Everett-based Compass Health and its Children’s Hospitalization Alternative Program
The program serves Snohomish County children diagnosed with mental health problems. Most come through referrals from the state Department of Social and Health Services’ Department of Children and Family Services, said Cathy Stewart, an office manager with Compass Health.
With roosters and hens in the yard, the Whites’ century-old house on a pastoral plot south of Stanwood seems far from bureaucracy. Inside, children find food and a bed, kindness and consistency — and common sense.
"We’ll take children who are mentally ill or developmentally disabled. We’ll take kids who have been in Denney (Juvenile Justice Center in Everett). Once you get past those things, you’re dealing with ordinary kids," Martha White said.
"We get enough information to know if we can handle a child," she said, adding that they won’t accept those known to have injured animals or started fires.
There’s heartbreak in more mundane details of some kids’ histories.
"We get children who have never eaten at a table. Basically, we have to start by teaching ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Some kids have never had a birthday party. They have their first one right here," said Wilbur White, who wears his 93 years like someone a decade younger.
For 20 years, he worked as a prison guard at the State Reformatory in Monroe and in honor camps. He still carries hard-luck stories of prison. "I was the one who released them. One time, a kid just didn’t want to leave," White said.
He has struggled, too, in parting with foster children. "We had one girl for 4 1/2 years. It was hard to see her go," he said.
Their home is one of basic values and simple pastimes. Wilbur is a woodcarver. He takes a writing class at the Stanwood Senior Center and does crossword puzzles. Martha quilts, knits and teaches the kids life skills, from money management to cooking.
When children arrive, they’ll often stand and stare at what’s in the refrigerator. "That’s one of the insecurities, that there won’t be food," she said. "I had one boy who used to hide cans of tuna."
The Compass program provides case management, psychiatric services and crisis response. Foster parents get about $1,000 a month per child, depending on the situation, said Fran Barnett, a Compass Health foster home licenser. She’s known the Whites for 13 years.
"They are so adaptable. If there’s a cultural difference, Martha will go out and get all the education on that child’s culture," Barnett said.
Wilbur White’s first wife, Etta, died in 1980. "She used to do foster care with infants," he said.
"When we got married, I told him I’m too old for babies, but we could try caring for older children," Martha White said. "I went from teaching 30 kids at a time to having one or two in my home.
"I grew up in La Conner, the oldest of five. I took care of them all and didn’t know it was a hardship," she said.
Her husband, born in Kansas, came to Machias at age 3. Before prison work, he was a logger and longshoreman. "I always wanted to help people," he said.
One child at a time, they do help.
"Martha and Wilbur don’t judge anybody," Barnett said. "They just accept the kids for who they are."
A refrigerator magnet holds another paper. Printed off a computer in pink ink, it says: "Hate is a four-letter word. So is love. What are you teaching?"
It is the work of a 17-year-old, a girl who has found a home.
Columnist Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460 or muhlsteinjulie@heraldnet.com.
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