There you are, year after year. It’s 4 p.m. on Christmas Eve and you’re doing “Night of the Living Dead” zombie impersonations in the aisles at Rite Aid.
Men mostly.
Those who don’t have a clue what their significant other wants to find under the tree the next morning. Ambling up one aisle and down the other. Picking up $5.99 boxes of face lotion, putting that down, picking up the new toilet bowl cleaner with disposable heads, putting that down, eyeing the magnification on the reading glasses.
Hello.
She doesn’t want any of that stuff. So get a clue.
Every year, you put off the agony of shopping. You just can’t face the mall, can you? You don’t know how the Internet works. You hate TV shopping channels.
Let me make a suggestion, a painless little shopping suggestion.
You know where your local hospital is, right? They have gift shops. They have parking. There are no crowds. Nice workers will steer you toward a great present, often a name-brand something or other.
I took the trouble to do a little advance scouting. It’s amazing what they sell nowadays near the operating rooms. Much more than balloons, “It’s a boy” cigars and flowers. You can get high-end moisturizers, games, jewelry or a gorgeous vase.
At Cascade Valley Hospital in Arlington (330 S. Stillaguamish Ave., 8 a.m.-4 p.m. weekdays, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Saturdays), there are books about God.
There’s Camille Beckman lotions; Big Sky bears and a book about cooking with chocolate. There were Dembaco designs for the home, gift cards, soaps, kitchen towels, cat sculptures, lamps, an evening purse and Beanie Babies.
Now see; that could pay off for you.
Carolyn Jacobson from Granite Falls was there shopping. She said the gift shop was wonderful. Vinna Pahl from Federal Way was visiting her mother in the Arlington hospital.
“I’m getting a necklace and earrings,” Pahl said. “The shop brightens our day.”
The jewelry in Arlington was gorgeous. I had to remember I wasn’t shopping for myself. Otherwise, several pieces of Silver Forest Jewelry would have been mine, all mine.
At Stevens Hospital in Edmonds (21601 76th Ave. W., 9 a.m.-7 p.m. weekdays, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. weekends), I almost picked up birthstone booties for my new granddaughter.
They had other baby things from which to choose and ceramic pigs for each month of the year. There also is cart with Huskies-color purple and gold hair scrunchies, exquisite blown-glass creations, candles, ornaments and a neat pen that glowed.
If your someone special is newly pregnant, there is a handy calendar showing fetal development. There were picture frames, hand-therapy creams, a pumice stone, drawer sachets, watches, clocks, guardian angel pins, fresh flowers and those coupon bulging Entertainment Books for $30 so you can go out to dinner many times next year and not spend a lot of money.
There was more Silver Forest Jewelry at the gift shop at Providence Everett Medical Center (916 Pacific Ave., 9 a.m.-8 p.m. weekdays, and noon-4 p.m. weekends).
Would she love a Perry Como CD? They had really lovely Christmas doodads from snowmen to ornaments, or Christmas plaid paper tableware.
The porcelain turkey salt-and-pepper shakers were darling.
There was a book about string games, complete with string, puzzles and a magnetized shopping list in the shape of asparagus or squash. Really, she will be amazed you found something that cute.
The shop had a book named “101 Secrets a Cool Mom Knows” a purse that looked like a bumblebee and the Cranium board game.
At the Colby Campus (1321 Colby Ave., 9 a.m.-8 p.m. weekdays, and noon-4 p.m. weekends), the gift shop had very lavish fresh flowers, a snowman cookie jar, shovels with Santa painted on them, a big band Christmas swing CD, baseball-sized jingle bells, bird houses, a Nativity scene with all bear characters and candy cane-scented candles.
There are oodles of gift ideas at Valley General Hospital in Monroe (14701 179th Ave. SE, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. weekdays) from 25-cent used paperbacks to T-shirts reading “Nurses know how to care.” In Monroe, find a history of Sultan book, tote bags, calendars, mugs reading “I love my friend” and crib blankets. They had stuffed frogs, a christening bib, tooth fairy pillows, jumbo playing cards and a piano-shaped music box.
Hospital gift shop shopping is so easy, you have no excuse for not having something nice under the tree. And you don’t have to see a doctor while you’re there.
Yes, we know too well how you feel about seeing a doctor.
Columnist Kristi O’Harran: 425-339-3451 or oharran@ heraldnet.com.
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