It’s Groundhog Day, and while we’d all like to see winter end soon, there are a few reasons Punxsutawney Phil might want to scurry back into his burrow for a few more weeks:
Obscene oil profits: Exxon Mobil raked in a record $40.6 billion last year. That’s enough to buy 254 Boeing 787s at $160 million each. Or enough to convince Boeing to build you one very cool 787 and have the CEO fly it for you.
Or it could buy 13 billion gallons of gas. That’s enough to keep a Hummer running full-time for close to a month.
Microsoft losing its mind: The company made a $42 billion takeover bid for Yahoo, which has been struggling to stay relevant in Google’s world.
Analysts say the deal makes a lot of sense, provided that it’s still 1999.
Double dipping: A study inspired by “Seinfeld” found that when you dip a chip, take a bite, then dip again, you’re spreading thousands of bacteria.
The microbiologist leading the study said “it’s like kissing everybody at the party.” As if a microbiologist would know what that’s like.
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