Think outside the bun, but inside the cow: Taco Bell, in response to a lawsuit that claims the meat filling in its tacos is only 35 percent ground beef, bought full page ads in national newspapers, declaring that its seasoned beef is 88 percent ground beef.
Although Taco Bell may be using a generous definition of “beef” that includes the cow and anything it ate the night before slaughter.
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Do they even make electronic ankle bracelets in “Goliath” size? A Dutch lawyer wants to get his client out of jail and in to house arrest because the bed in his cell is too small and the toilet is too low. The prisoner, found guilty of financial fraud, weighs 500 pounds and stands 6 feet 10 inches tall.
It’s like “Baretta” star Robert Blake always used to say, “If you’re too big for jail, don’t get nailed.”
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Java jive: Oak Harbor legislator Rep. Barbara Bailey, R-Grande Macchiato, not content with working to solve the state’s budget mess, has introduced legislation that would make coffee the official state beverage. Considering the work ahead of lawmakers, Bailey said, “we need a coffee break.”
A companion bill would make the coffee break the state’s official method of avoiding the task in front of you.
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