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Someone’s thinking of the children: The chairman of Dish Network testified before a U.S. House subcommittee that the satellite network’s ad-stripping and TV network-upsetting DVR, the Hopper, has the side-benefit of protecting children from watching ads about junk food and alcohol.

Now parents don’t have to worry about their kids catching glimpses of potato chips and whisky as the watch uninterrupted episodes of shoot-outs on “Hawaii Five-O,” autopsies on “CSI: Miami” and double entendres on “Two and a Half Men.”

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A warm, fuzzy feeling: ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson admitted during a speech that fossil fuels are warming the planet but says fears about the effects of climate change, fueled by an “illiterate” public and a “lazy” press, are overblown.

Tillerson’s speech was then interrupted when he was eaten by a polar bear.

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Work your fingers to the bone: A survey of more than 1,000 teens found that most of them see Facebook, Twitter and social networking as a positive in their lives, helping them maintain friendships. Although 36 percent, weary of the pressures of constant texting and posting, sometimes longed to go back to a time before Facebook was invented.

Those were simpler times; you only had to move your lips to talk to your friends.

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