By Tom Burke / Herald columnist
In a startling presidential campaign about-face Donald Trump changed his reelection strategy from culturally and racially fracturing the nation to focusing entirely on the coronavirus. His new campaign slogan, “Bring Out Your Dead!” dramatically captures his turnabout.
According to a Trump spokesperson the president is reflecting his deep interest and knowledge of history by reviving the “Bring Out Your Dead!” cry first heard in 1348 during London’s Black Death, when half the city’s population died and bodies were tossed in the streets, and now resonates across modern-day America with more than 140,000 souls taken by the pandemic.
The campaign has ditched such Trump reassurances as “We have this well under control;” and replaced them with new bumper stickers saying “Bring Out Your Dead!”
No more will Trump brag, “Anyone who wants a test can get one.” His new battle cry “Bring Out Your Dead!” will be standard fodder on his teleprompter.
His predictions that the coronavirus will spontaneously disappear have evaporated and now he tweets in all caps, “BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!”
In place of his claim that, “We’ve made Remarkable Progress” he has repurposed federal funding for ventilators with funding dedicated to Bubonic Plague-era death carts and the cry, “Bring Out Your Dead!” proclaimed by the Vice President.
MAGA hats are passé; new Trump campaign headwear will be boldly embroidered “Bring Out Your Dead!” in gold on all-black hats. (One size fits all.)
The campaign is also offering face masks emblazoned with “Bring Out Your Dead!” so that cowardly Democrats and Never-Trumpers can help popularize the slogan.
Campaign lawn signs are being offered to dedicated Trumpists who choose to sacrifice a loved one to Donald’s reelection by attending a rally with “I Brought Out My Dead! and will have “Here They Are” added with a convenient arrow pointing to where the corpses are stacked.
In Jacksonville, during Trump’s upcoming no-social-distancing/no-masks convention, special New York City, now-surplus freezer morgue-trailers (if they can be spared from Texas) are being strategically placed throughout the arena. It is a measure to save attendees money and inconvenience as they can “Bring out the Dead” right on the convention floor instead of paying for a return trip home to die.
Republican governors and local legislators who opened their states too early are now offering businesses a two-fer: outside signs with “We’re Open for Business” to lure customers in; and inside signs with “Bring Out Your Dead!” for those on their way out of the bar/restaurant/gym, and this life.
The social-distancing signs Trump staff stripped off seats at the failed Tulsa rally will be replaced on all seats at all Trump campaign events with “Bring Out Your Dead!” stickers.
Gold Stars, which families once displayed to indicate the loss of a loved one in service to America, are being replaced with “Bring Out Your Dead” window decals for those who died in service to the Dow Jones.
And Trump’s claim that 99 percent of Covid-19 cases “are totally harmless” is totally bogus says Dr. Peter Hotez, dean of the National School of Tropical Medicine at the Baylor College of Medicine.
In making the announcement a Trump spokesperson said — nothing — about the coronavirus, as it is clear the president has grown bored with Americans dying, can no longer cope with trying to solve the problem, and is weary of being responsible for so many deaths.
Rather, the Trump campaign representative spoke at length about maintaining statues, monuments, flags and memorials to the Confederate traitors who tried to overthrow the American government between 1861 and 1865. And lost.
In a fit of Trumpian excess his mouthpiece extended praise beyond Lee, Jackson, Hill and Bragg (who all took up arms against the Constitutional government to preserve slavery) and included backers of the Wall Street Putsch (also known as the Bankers Plot of 1933) when big-business-financed American fascists (in league with the KKK) attempted to overthrown President Franklin Roosevelt and stop the New Deal. (When caught, the big-business backers said, “It’s a hoax;” “Fake News;” and “We were just kidding.”)
Pundits are saying the new campaign slogan, “Bring Out Your Dead!” looks like a winner:
• At least 39 states are reporting an increase of new cases;
• A 75,000-plus new case record was just reached; and
• The rise in infections will increase deaths to 225,000 souls by November according to the University of Washington, making “Bring Out Your Dead!” the perfect slogan during the final days of the presidential campaign.
We have 140,000 dead from Covid-19, 140,000 mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles and children and they didn’t all have to die. Trump’s disinterest and incompetence killed many.
So when Trump speaks, ignore his lies. Instead, measure his actions and count the corpses; because no matter what words come out of his mouth, what he’s really saying to you is, “Bring Out Your Dead!”
Tom Burke’s email address is t.burke.column@gmail.com.
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