By Tom Burke / Herald columnist
Yes, Biden won by a margin of 74 electoral and 6 million popular votes, but Donald Trump really needs a second term.
He needs a second term to finish his promised “wall,” although at just 15 new miles in four years — the other 670 miles simply replaced existing wall according to U.S. Customs and Border Protection — he actually needs 160 more 4-year terms to get it all done.
He needs another term to consummate his betrothal to Kim Jong-un, as North Korea is still building and deploying nuke ICBMs despite Trump’s romance. So far Kim hasn’t been “satisfied” and Trump needs to make more love.
And he needs a second term to find the parents of the 666 kids he kidnapped, put in cages, and are now Trumpian orphans; toddlers with no one they can call “Mama” or “Papa” when alone and afraid.
But mostly he needs a second term to stay out of jail. Or at least out of court. Or maybe out of bankruptcy. Or to avoid having to commit public seppuku, as it may be the only way to atone for the death of the more than 250,000 Americans that his malfeasance, incompetence and lying caused.
Trump may think his post-presidential days are going to be filled with plotting a 2024 presidential run, managing a new media outlet, or building a presidential library. But I think he’s going to be busy with lawyers, courts, suits (not the pinstriped variety, but those of a legal ilk), depositions and DNA samples.
Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance will have Donny and Trump Inc. in front of a grand jury for paying hush money to a porn star, bank fraud, tax fraud, insurance fraud and falsification of business records; for starters.
New York Attorney General Letitia James has a civil fraud investigation into state-level, Trump-suspected bank, tax and insurance violations, and she has the cooperation of his long-time bookkeeper, Allen Weisselberg. Hmmmm.
The Maryland and D.C. attorneys general have charged him with emoluments violations and GSA contract irregularities over his Washington hotel.
On a personal level writer E. Jean Carroll is suing for defamation (he called her a liar when she accused him of sexual assault and rape). The case is proceeding and the U.S. Department of Justice won’t be defending him anymore unless he “wins.” Plus he’ll probably have to give a DNA sample to compare his to that found on the dress she was wearing when she was raped.
Summer Zervos is suing him for defamation for basically the same thing as Carroll.
Maryland and D.C. and others are investigating his alleged misuse (theft of) inaugural funds.
Michael Cohen is suing for legal fees Trump welched on.
Trump and his kids are being investigated for a pyramid scheme that bilked millions from Trump fans.
The stuff Robert Mueller dug up, but didn’t use, is now fair game.
His niece, Mary Trump, is suing for fraud and civil conspiracy, alleging he cheated and lied to keep her from getting a fair share of inheritance.
He’s under audit by the IRS for apparently cheating with phony charitable contributions and dubious consultant payments to his daughter.
He personally owes more than $420 million to foreign banks. They’re gonna want their money; so the only way to avoid paying is “winning,” suing, declaring bankruptcy (again) or selling off assets.
I gotta believe some enterprising lawyer will sue, representing one of the 666 kids he orphaned.
And, unless its “four more years” he’s facing all of this without:
• Our Justice Department as his personal lawyer.
• No presidential immunity.
• And, under a new administration, Congress will have access to all the documents, emails and tax returns Trump has stonewalled on. How long do you think before his taxes leak? Oops.
Now, will Trump go to jail? Probably not.
Will anyone be surprised if he pardons himself? Not I.
But state and local cases would still be alive, as he can’t pardon himself from them.
And the world’s peek behind his curtain of lies may be punishment enough for a loser like Trump.
In my last column I prayed for the grace to forgive. I still am. I still want to forgive those who supported Trump. But, as a Catholic who believes in the remission of sins, through confession and the act of penance, I want to hear Trump’s confession, and I’ll settle for his being exposed as a grifter, liar, cheat and incompetent as his penance.
I don’t want to see Trump’s head stuck on a pike as Steve Bannon advocated for Dr. Anthony Fauci and FBI Director Christopher Wray.
I just want Trump out; Biden in; and the coronavirus gone. Is it Jan. 20 yet?
Tom Burke’s email address is email@example.com.