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All that’s missing is Joan, herself: Comedian Joan Rivers got the red-carpet funeral she had said she wanted Sunday in New York with Hollywood celebrities, Broadway tunes and plenty of paparazzi.

Rivers, keeping with a fashionably classic look, wore a dark mahogany casket with stylish brass fittings and six pallbearers. (Too soon? Oh, grow up!)

Channel-surfing the vast cultural wasteland: The second season of Food Network’s “Rewrapped,” premieres tonight. On the menu: Ho Ho-encrusted duck breast.

OK. That’s enough. The chef competition craze hasn’t just jumped the shark, it’s lopped off the shark’s fin, braised it in a melted Slurpee, dusted it with crushed Doritos and served it between slices of a Krispy Kreme doughnut.

Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1504, Michelangelo unveiled his statue of David to the public in Florence, Italy.

Looking a little chagrined, the man who modeled for the great sculptor explained he had just stepped out of a cold shower when work began on the piece.

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