Baseball’s report on steroids came out Thursday, and it includes some of the sport’s biggest names. (Say it ain’t so, David Bell.) It’s not clear what the fallout will be, but already the scandal has required a rewrite of a famous poem:
There was ease in Casey’s manner as he stepped into his place. But there was extra bulk in Casey’s bearing, and strange muscles on his face.
And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air, and Casey knew his talent alone didn’t get him there. Close by the sturdy batsman, the ball unheeded sped. “Better get me some HGH,” said Casey. “Strike one!” the umpire said.
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the dun sphere flew. But Casey was slow with the needle, and the umpire said, “Strike two!” The crowd saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain. And they knew that Casey’s needle had finally found a vein.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go. And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey’s blow.
And somewhere men are laughing, making millions, all beefed up. But there is no joy in Mudville — mighty Casey has shot up.
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