Clear winner

Let’s watch “Top Gun” instead: Despite attempts by the Church of Scientology to divert attention from it, an HBO documentary, “Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief,” has been seen by more than 5.5 million people since its debut two weeks ago.

And those numbers double when you count the 5.5 million thetans, the ancient alien beings that Scientologists say inhabit human bodies, who also watched the documentary.

You choose: Oreo or M&M: Protests that sought a $15-an-hour wage for fast-food workers were staged across the country and expanded to include other minimum-wage workers.

Moved by the demonstrations, McDonald’s, which recently raised its workers’ salaries $1 an hour above the local minimum wage, said it would further sweeten the deal: a free small McFlurry.

Couldn’t afford the stamps? A man hoping to deliver letters to Congress on campaign finance corruption landed his small one-person gyrocopter on the White House lawn.

Alert Secret Service agents grabbed the man and took him with them on their way to the bar.

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FILE — In this Sept. 17, 2020 file photo, provided by the Idaho Department of Fish and Game, Chelbee Rosenkrance, of the Idaho Department of Fish and Game, holds a male sockeye salmon at the Eagle Fish Hatchery in Eagle, Idaho. Wildlife officials said Tuesday, Aug. 10, 2021, that an emergency trap-and-truck operation of Idaho-bound endangered sockeye salmon, due to high water temperatures in the Snake and Salomon rivers, netted enough fish at the Granite Dam in eastern Washington, last month, to sustain an elaborate hatchery program. (Travis Brown/Idaho Department of Fish and Game via AP, File)
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Patricia Gambis, right, talks with her 4-year-old twin children, Emma, left, and Etienne in their home, Thursday, Jan. 24, 2019, in Maplewood, N.J. Gambis' husband, an FBI agent, has been working without pay during the partial United States government shutdown, which has forced the couple to take financial decisions including laying off their babysitter. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez)
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