Comment: Skip the robe; give my kid a jab for Mother’s Day

I want my new daughter to see the outside world instead of our covid vaccination ‘waiting room.’

By Monica Hesse / The Washington Post

What I would like for Mother’s Day this year is a new duvet cover, some sunglasses, a professional carpet cleaning for the dining room rug, and a [expletive] vaccine for my [expletive] child.

I am writing this column from the basement of my in-laws’ home in an active living retirement community, where my family has been mooching child care in the waning days of the pandemic, and where my primary means of entertaining my 10-month-old daughter is taking her to watch athletic 85-year-olds play pickle ball, and I can honestly say that we are very lucky and also that what I would like for Mother’s Day this year is a [expletive] vaccine for my [expletive] child.

For a large percentage of you, this column does not resonate. Perhaps you don’t have children. Perhaps your children are older than 5 and have been vaccinated for months. Perhaps your children are part of the 75 percent of children (!!) who apparently have already had covid as of the end of February, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

For the percentage of you who are still partying like it’s March 2020, a.k.a. avoiding indoor restaurants and parties and concerts and museums and department stores and Jiffy Lubes and movie theaters and FedEx stores and dentists’ offices and retirement dinners, and who can count on two hands the number of buildings your child has ever been inside (my daughter thinks Safeway is Disney World), I know what you want for Mother’s Day and it is not a bathrobe.

You have wanted this since December of 2020 when vaccines became available for individuals 16 and older. And then since May 2021, when use was expanded to adolescents 12 and older. And then since October of 2021 when kids ages 5 to 11 could get the shot, and then since November 2021 when experts predicted a baby vaccine by year’s end. And then since this Feb. 11, when another unexpected snag delayed things for “two months.”

The FDA now says vaccines for children younger than 5 might be available as soon as June. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. [Expletive.]

What I would like for Mother’s Day is to go back in time to the part of the pandemic when officials were still saying things like “We’re all in it together.” I would like them to clarify that what they actually meant was, “We’re all in it together until most of us get antibodies, at which point the parents of uninfected infants and toddlers are in it by themselves.” I would like them to take a hard look at the double-helix of boredom and rage that lives inside parents who still have to ask off work because there’s been a covid outbreak in the toddler room at day care and somebody has to look after the kid. Because we are most certainly in it by ourselves.

If I read another statistic about how working mothers have born the brunt of the pandemic I will open the window and make incoherent pterodactyl noises for nine minutes straight, because there’s a point at which reading that it’s crap for all working moms doesn’t feel helpful. It feels as though America is doing what it does best: acknowledging that working moms are frequently placed in impossible spots, and then pretending we can make up for it by giving them a holiday where they eat a pancake in bed.

I don’t want commiseration, I want a shot. Right in my daughter’s fat little thigh. Jabby-jab.

The past two years have been difficult for all families. But I would wager — myopically, perhaps — that they have been especially disorienting for families of children whose entire lives, birth to now, have been encompassed by the pandemic. There is no “before” to return to. There are no sustaining memories of what it could look like to be a parent in a time without covid. I delivered my daughter while wearing an N95 mask and birthed this fragile, soft human into a world that is impossibly beautiful, which she has seen not nearly enough of. I will show it to her, all of it, as soon as I can lift her gently in my arms, hold her tight, and then pin her down on an exam table so a nurse can come at her good with a needle.

For Mother’s Day I [expletive] want a [expletive] [expletive] vaccine for my [expletive] child. It is the only thing I want. Also a bottle of good dry shampoo.

Monica Hesse is a columnist for The Washington Post’s Style section, who frequently writes about gender and its impact on society. She’s the author of several novels, most recently, “They Went Left.” Follow her on Twitter @MoncaHesse.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Opinion

Editorial cartoons for Sunday, July 21

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Scott Spahr, Generation Engineering Manager at Snohomish County PUD, points to a dial indicating 4 megawatts of power production from one of two Francis turbine units at the Henry M. Jackson Powerhouse on Friday, Feb. 17, 2023, near Sultan, Washington. Some of the water that passes through units 3 and 4 — the two Francis turbines — is diverted to Lake Chaplain, which supplies water to Everett. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Editorial: Amber King best suited for PUD’s 2nd District seat

Among three solid candidates, King’s knowledge of utilities and contracts will serve ratepayers well.

Former President Donald Trump, the presumed Republican presidential nominee, speaks during a campaign event in Doral, Fla., July 9, 2024. The Biden campaign has attacked Trump’s ties to the conservative policy plan that would amass power in the executive branch, though it is not his official platform. (Scott McIntyre/The New York York Times)
Comment: Project 2025’s aim is to institutionalize Trumpism

A look at the conservative policy behind Project 2025 and the think tank that thought it up.

Forum: How much do we really know about ‘bus stop people’?

Our assumptions about people, often fall short of accuracy, yet we justify our divisions based on them.

Voters left with poor options for president

The recent televised debate between former President Trump and President Biden, was… Continue reading

From the Publisher: The Herald’s team is committed to readers

I’m returning as publisher to aid The Herald during its transition and continue its 123-year legacy.

Comment: We need to think hard on political discourse

The attempt on Donald Trump’s life should bring reflection on how we respond to others’ beliefs.

Comment: Vote yes to bring power of Everett port across county

A countywide port district would offer the tools and funding to foster economic development and jobs.

Forum: Port of Everett’s Prop 1 adds bureaucracy and new tax

Its yes campaign claims jobs and projects, but its tax and authority will diminish local control.

Vote 2024. US American presidential election 2024. Vote inscription, badge, sticker. Presidential election banner Vote 2024, poster, sign. Political election campaign symbol. Vector Illustration
Editorial: Return Wagoner and Low to 39th Disrict seats

‘Workhorse’ Republicans, both have sponsored successful solution-oriented legislation in each chamber.

A law enforcement officer surveys the Fiserv Forum in Milwaukee, the site of the Republican National Convention, on July 14, 2024. (Haiyun Jiang/The New York Times)
Editorial: Weekend’s violence should steel resolve in democracy

Leaders can lower the temperature of their rhetoric. We can choose elections over violence.

A graphic show the Port of Everett boundary expansion proposed in a ballot measure to voters in the Aug. 6 primary election. (Port of Everett).
Editorial: Case made to expand Port of Everett across county

The port’s humming economic engine should be unleashed to bring jobs, opportunity to all communities.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.