Whoa, Bessie! Scientists have discovered something shocking about cows. It appears the animals might have an internal compass. This is pretty impressive, considering your average bovine is dumb enough to be tricked by a painted-on cattle guard. This could suggest cows are getting smarter, and starting to organize.
States such as Idaho — where there are more cattle than people — should probably start planning ahead. Or eating more steak.
I do. A couple in Richland tied the knot at the top of a Ferris wheel. The creative couple also received 60 years worth of fair admission tickets.
The marriage is off to a good start, but we do envision some upcoming fights. After 60 years, getting fair tickets as an anniversary present is likely to lose its charm. Ditto for cotton candy and corn dogs.
The Olympics are over. Don’t worry, though, there’s still plenty to watch on TV now that the Democratic National Convention is under way.
Turn on C-Span and you’ll be entertained by Marathon Speech Making, Synchronized Party Unifying and Target Shooting, with any direct hit on a John McCain policy equivalent to a bull’s-eye.
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