Headlines are on special this week, during this save-the-economy shopping season:
“Mayor says Obama purposely bumped ‘Charlie Brown Christmas.’” Arlington, Tenn., Mayor Russell Wiseman wrote on his Facebook page that President Obama, who he says is a Muslim, deliberately timed his Afghanistan speech last week to block the Christian message of the “Peanuts” television Christmas special.
Of course he did. We voted for change didn’t we? Those critics who call the president “Obamessiah” or just “Messiah” saw it all coming. He’s going to cancel Christmas and declare his birthday a holiday instead.
“Woman gives birth on Southwest flight”: This is the cost-cutting, can-do, multitasking America we love. Combine essential services — say health care and transportation — and you have mobile health care clinics that treat your hypertension even as they lose your luggage. Just add your insurance card to the ID needed to board a plane, take a quick walk through the weapons/PET scan monitored by screeners in another room (“She appears free of weapons, but I don’t like the look of that gallbladder”) and results will be available onboard for a fee. Coffee, tea or a flu shot? Movie or a mammogram? Extra frequent-flyer miles awarded for managing a mini-bottle-sized specimen cup without mishap.
“Hershey, Nestle reported to have talked about Cadbury”: No way! What did they say?
Hershey: “You know that English snob Cadbury is balking at a chocolatey, hostile takeover.”
Nestle: “Those creme-filled eggs think they are so much better than other confections.”
Business doesn’t get much bigger than the “food industry.” Cadbury, the iconic British chocolate maker, is resisting an unsolicited bid by Kraft Foods Inc., the world’s second largest food maker. If Kraft is successful, the deal would create a global giant with an estimated $50 billion in combined revenue and make it the biggest candy maker in the whole wide world. Which is why Hershey and Nestle are talking. Nestle is the world’s No. 1 “food maker” and would be happy to take Cadbury alone, but it might need Hershey’s help.
The international food industry is full of intrigue. Bloomberg.com offers this insider insight: “Nestle … could buy back the U.S. rights to Kit Kat and Rolo brands from Hershey, giving Hershey the power to fund a combination with Cadbury that would value the U.K. company at 840 pence a share.” (Kraft, the maker of Oreo cookies and Toblerone chocolate, is offering 718 pence a share.)
Is this a candy version of “Monopoly”? What international food conglomorate will eventually run the world? Our money is on Uber-Krafty-Coke Inc.
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