Take our advice. Seems an e-mail glitch sent letters meant for Dear Abby to The Buzz. Rather than forward them, we’ll do Abby a favor and answer them:
Dear Buzz, I’m in charge of hiring Secret Service agents to protect presidential candidates. This year I’ll have to find people to watch after at least 18 candidates. Where am I going to find that many new agents?
Secret Agent Man
Dear Secret, just pass out free dark glasses and ear buds at every campaign stop. Anyone with nefarious plans will feel as if they’re surrounded.
Dear Buzz, I’m a bull who lives in Pamplona, Spain. Every year it’s the same thing: Chase the tourists. Gore the tourists. Trample the tourists. I’m having trouble working up the enthusiasm I should feel for my chosen career.
Ferdinand
Dear Ferdinand, have you considered a career in law enforcement, specifically the Secret Service?
Dear Buzz, I got a new cell phone, and my new number used to belong to Paris Hilton. Now I get all these calls that go, “Oh, my gawd. Where’s the party?” What should I say?
Not Paris Hilton
Dear Not Paris, tell them the party’s in Pamplona and that they should wear red.
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