As a new subscriber to the Everett Herald, I was dismayed to read in my first issue a column by John Rosemond. (“Good discipline doesn’t include talking.”) In it, he was responding to a question by a parent whose 3-year-old son had become defiant at preschool. As a long-time parenting educator, I have several issues with Dr. Rosemond’s “discipline.”
First, according to the parent, the child was fine for months and then suddenly began to act out. Both the parent and Rosemond are so busy imposing punishment to control the behavior that neither asks why this might be happening. Children don’t suddenly decide to act out. Something caused this — a change in his classroom, bullying, over stimulation — it could be any number of things. The point is, none of the adults asked these questions.
Secondly, if the problem is only occurring at school, then the solution lies at school. This parent and teacher should be working together to understand the behavior and develop some solutions at school, not punishing at home.
Thirdly, in my opinion, Rosemond needs to revisit Child Development 101. Confining a 3-year-old to his room for the rest of the day, and putting him to bed right after dinner for something that occurred many hours earlier, is absurd. He won’t learn self regulation with these methods — at best he will be confused and at worst he will learn resentment and revenge.
Penny G. Davis, M.A
Respectful Relationships Consulting
Marysville
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