Domestic violence is everyone’s problem

The next time you’re talking about domestic violence with someone and the stereotypical question comes up, "Why didn’t she just leave?" you can have a ready reply:

"Why didn’t he just stop hitting her?"

The smart remark places the blame exactly where it belongs — on the abuser.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. And while the domestic violence awareness movement has been underway for about 30 years in this country, we all know the abuse of women and children has been going on much longer than that.

County leaders working to end domestic violence — police, prosecutors, victims’ advocates and others — met with representatives of the Snohomish County Center for Battered Women on Tuesday to renew their resolve to cooperate in the effort to stop violence. And they shared some common-sense information that could benefit everyone.

Perhaps the most important thing many of us need to be reminded of is that domestic violence affects all of us, even if we aren’t victims of abuse or don’t know anyone who is or has been.

Its impacts on our criminal justice system are monumental, and it’s no secret how burdened our county and others are in this area. It also affects us economically — not only through taxes to pay for criminal justice — but in the workplace where victims are often forced to leave their jobs and move from one place to another. These situations affect employers who’ve paid for training and invested in the employee only to have them leave suddenly.

And many people might be surprised to learn that a co-worker they thought they knew well was once or is currently being abused by her partner.

We’ve progressed considerably as a society — from one that encouraged women to keep their abuse quiet and contained within their family, to one that recognizes the horrors many women have suffered at the hands of an angry husband or boyfriend. Not only do we recognize this, we offer opportunities for escaping and rebuilding lives and homes. Yet many of us still hang on to stereotypes that lead to victim-bashing and misunderstandings of what a domestic violence victim really is.

Snohomish County is fortunate to have successful programs, like the ones in Everett and Mountlake Terrace, that work to make sure abusers are prosecuted. We’re equally fortunate to have the Center for Battered Women to house women and children in life-threatening situations.

Even if domestic violence hasn’t touched us personally, we can show our concern by supporting these groups who know all too well that it’s happening every day in Snohomish County.

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