Embattled exec

You won’t have Aaron Reardon to kick around anymore: With calls for investigations mounting against him and members of his staff, County Executive Aaron Reardon announced his resignation Thursday.

Reardon, D-Rock Climbing, said he was stepping down so he could spend more time with his sycophants and toadies.

Although his resignation isn’t official for months, Reardon ended his speech by thrusting both arms into the air, each hand making a peace sign, and stepping onto a waiting Marine helicopter to be whisked away to San Clemente, Calif.

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Vast cultural wasteland widens: Nielsen, the company that measures television viewership, soon will begin counting those who watch TV programs online. Eventually, even programs watched on tablets and mobile phones will be counted.

And it will explain why “Norah the Piano Cat” and “Boxing Kitteh” beat out “The Big Bang Theory” and “Two and a Half Men” as top-rated shows.

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I have a bad feeling about this: Star Wars fans in San Francisco are combining martial arts with fandom by offering light saber classes, complete with costumes, “Force” philosophy and glowing sabers.

To each his own, but hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

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