After listening to the family members of his victims speak directly to him at his sentencing, it was the man who forgave Gary Leon Ridgway who made him break down and cry.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. No one who read last Friday’s Herald could help but notice the front-page theme of grief, anger and forgiveness. At the top of the page was a story about Grant Fosheim, the young man sentenced to six years in prison for vehicular homicide — a crime that took the life of three people, including a brand-new grandmother just blocks from reaching the safety of her home. Right below that was the article on Ridgway, who was sentenced to 48 consecutive life terms for his killing spree of at least 48 women, crimes that devastated families and terrorized a region.
Our society and our legal system rate wrongdoings on a scale according to their impact on us — from the little white lie to the white collar crime to the most heinous murder. For every wrongdoing there is usually at least one victim, often more. And every one of them must grapple with the issue of forgiveness.
Robert Rule’s decision to forgive Ridgway for killing his young daughter, Janey, was stunning. The man who is Santa Claus to hundreds of children every year at the Everett Mall looked at Ridgway and said, "There are people that hate you, I’m not one of them. I pity you, sir. You won’t have a Christmas. You won’t have the love around you that everyone needs at Christmas time."
"I showed him love and he cried," Rule said later. "God said forgive all men, not just a few."
Jerry McCollum has just as much reason as Rule to be angry. His wife of 32 years, Jenny, was the woman killed in the crash. His poignant guest commentary on this page last week spoke of his grief, his belief in our justice system and issued a call to Fosheim to give him a reason to forgive. In his way, he gave Fosheim a chance to make a new life for himself after he gets out of prison, a chance McCollum’s wife will never get.
Two men with unbearable and unfair grief poured into their lives. Two examples of forgiveness.
Those of us who’ve never suffered this depth of loss still struggle with forgiveness of wrongs suffered at the hands of others. If we work at it long enough, we learn that forgiveness is not about forgetting or even getting an apology from the person who hurt us. It doesn’t absolve them of their crime. It might sound selfish, but forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, to free us from the suffering caused by bitterness and hatred. And everyone deserves to be free from that kind of suffering, especially during this holiday season.
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
