From the annals of Ig Nobility

Holding it for science: The Ig Nobels, which honor dubious achievements in scientific research, have announced their winners for 2011, including a study that found that having a full bladder reduces the attention span of drivers as much as low-level of intoxication or sleep deprivation.

But the study may have been flawed by the fact that the full bladder and intoxication were caused by the same pitcher of beer.

In other non-Ig Noble but still improbable research:

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Twitterpated: A Cornell University analysis of the language used in 500 million tweets on Twitter found that most people are happiest when they wake up and on the weekends.

The analysis of the tweets also showed: that abbreviations cover up most users’ inability to spell; people overestimate your interest in their coffee consumption; and celebrities’ lives are as intensely boring as your own, a fact that is remedied with liberal use of exclamation points.

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Camel in the coal mine: A CDC report says construction workers, miners and food service workers are more likely to smoke than those in other occupations. Experts said education level was a likely factor.

But again, the experts ignore a simple fact: Construction workers, miners and food service workers smoke because they can’t play computer solitaire on their breaks.

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