Green day

Today is St. Patrick’s Day, so tuck into a steaming bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, and be sure to wear something green. Or don’t, and get pinched by the doofus down the hall at work. Employment lawyers are standing by.

For dinner, try a classic Irish potato dish. Better yet, go for the very best dining option the Emerald Island can offer: curry.

Technical difficulties: In North Carolina, a glitch caused adult programming to appear on a couple of channels dedicated to kids’ shows.

Parents complained, but the loudest howls of outrage came later from cable customers who tuned into Max After Dark to watch “Co-Ed Confidential,” and saw “Dora the Explorer” instead.

Would ObamaCare have helped? An injured German shepherd, apparently aware of how many humans receive their medical care, limped into an emergency room in Farmington, N.M.

Alas, the canny canine was denied treatment after his insurance company ruled his case of kennel cough was a pre-existing condition.

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