Hide the kids — Santa’s coming

  • Doug Parry, Herald staff
  • Wednesday, November 28, 2007 11:05pm
  • OpinionThe Buzz

It’s the most frightening time of the year. The Carey Brothers put you in the spirit with their annual list of holiday safety tips. Some highlights:

  • Look for the “fire-resistant” label on artificial trees. If your Christmas tree is from the Roman Candle Tree Co., think about some festive red fire extinguishers for the rest of the room.
  • Lock doors and windows when you leave. If you live in south Everett, use additional padlocks, chains, security cameras and pit bulls.
  • Tell guests your fire escape plan. Just to be safe, install a blaring siren and interrupt your dinner parties with fire drills.
  • Avoid breakable ornaments in homes with small children. For maximum safety, avoid having small children.

    Meanwhile, Martha Stewart writes about elegant ways to wrap gifts. Her ideas include decorative doilies, intricate ribbons and gingerbread gift tags. Let’s just say they’re for people with some time on their hands.

    One more safety tip: If someone spends hours decorating your gift with snowflake doilies, don’t tear into it like a raccoon in a garbage can. The resulting evil eye can be deadly.

    In slightly less scary news, dentists are learning their trade on a cool new robot. When its teeth are drilled, the simulated human says things such as, “Ow, that hurt!” and “I’m OK.”

    Future models will have built-in excuses for not flossing. They’ll also respond to dentists with more realistic patient phrases such as, “Waah aw you twyin to do, kiw me?”

    Talk to us

  • More in Opinion

    toon
    Editorial cartoons for Monday, Oct. 2

    A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

    FILE — In this Sept. 17, 2020 file photo, provided by the Idaho Department of Fish and Game, Chelbee Rosenkrance, of the Idaho Department of Fish and Game, holds a male sockeye salmon at the Eagle Fish Hatchery in Eagle, Idaho. Wildlife officials said Tuesday, Aug. 10, 2021, that an emergency trap-and-truck operation of Idaho-bound endangered sockeye salmon, due to high water temperatures in the Snake and Salomon rivers, netted enough fish at the Granite Dam in eastern Washington, last month, to sustain an elaborate hatchery program. (Travis Brown/Idaho Department of Fish and Game via AP, File)
    Editorial: Pledge to honor treaties can save Columbia’s salmon

    The Biden administration commits to honoring tribal treaties and preserving the rivers’ benefits.

    Comment: Online retailers should follow FTC’s lead in Amazon suit

    The antitrust suit provides a rule book on how to incentivize rather than punish sellers and customers.

    Comment: Starbucks’ reusuable cups aren’t so climate-friendly

    Some reusable products generate more emissions than the disposable items they’re meant to replace.

    Comment: Parental vigilance of social media can go too far

    A shift from “monitoring” to “mentoring” can allow teens to learn to make their own wise choices.

    Patricia Gambis, right, talks with her 4-year-old twin children, Emma, left, and Etienne in their home, Thursday, Jan. 24, 2019, in Maplewood, N.J. Gambis' husband, an FBI agent, has been working without pay during the partial United States government shutdown, which has forced the couple to take financial decisions including laying off their babysitter. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez)
    Editorial: Shutdown hits kids, families at difficult moment

    The shutdown risks food aid for low-income families as child poverty doubled last year and child care aid ends.

    Sen. June Robinson, D-Everett, left, and Sen. Mark Mullet, D-Issaquah, right, embrace after a special session to figure out how much to punish drug possession on Tuesday, May 16, 2023, in Olympia, Wash. Without action, Washington's drug possession law will expire July 1, leaving no penalty in state law and leaving cities free to adopt a hodgepodge of local ordinances.  (Karen Ducey/The Seattle Times via AP)
    Editorial: Robinson smart choice to head Senate budget panel

    A 10-year legislative veteran, the Everett senator displays a mastery of legislation and negotiation.

    Randall Tharp’s month recovery coins after battling a fentanyl addiction.  (Kevin Clark / The Herald)
    Fentanyl crisis should force rethinking of approach

    A continuum of care, that includes treatment in jails, is imperative, says a journalist and author.

    Eco-nomics: Climate report card: Needs more effort but shows promise

    A UN report shows we’re not on track to meet goals, but there are bright spots with clean energy.

    Most Read