By Jon Bauer / Herald Opinion Editor
We’ll start by hoisting a mug to the memory of actor George Wendt, who’s every entrance into the bar of the classic sitcom “Cheers” was announced with a delighted “Norm!” from its barkeeps and patrons. Wendt died Tuesday at 76. Among his better lines: “It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing Milk Bone underwear.”
In other news that can only be solved a pint at a time:
You’re not The Boss of me: Bruce Springsteen, now touring Europe, has released a six-track EP called the “Land of Hope & Dreams,” that includes pointed political remarks he made during a concert in England, including that America “is currently in the hands of a corrupt, incompetent and treasonous administration” to which President Trump replied in a social media post: “This dried out ‘prune’ of a rocker (his skin is all atrophied!) ought to KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT until he gets back into the Country, that’s just ‘standard fare.’ Then we’ll all see how it goes for him!”
Gentlemen, have you learned nothing from Drake and Kendrick Lamar? If you’re going to get into a proper beef, your diss tracks have to step up your wordplay and deliver it with some fresh beats.
‘I’ll take Legal Latin for $400, Ken’: Asked during a Senate hearing to define the legal term “habeas corpus,” Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem reversed the meaning of the term — Latin for the right to appear in court to determine if an arrest and detention are lawful — responded that it referred to the president’s “constitutional right” to deport people.
Noem’s response disqualified her from Final Constitutional Jeopardy but she was presented several lovely parting gifts including a Rolex watch, a trip for one to El Salvador, an all-access pass to CECOT and a year’s supply of Milk Bone dog biscuits. “Milk Bone: Play dead, Rex. Good boy.”
Take our advice; skip the undercoat: The Defense Department has officially accepted the gift of a Boeing 747-8 from the Qatari royal family — valued at $400 million — and is expected to begin up to $1 billion in work soon to upgrade the jet to ensure security and mission requirements so that the aircraft can serve President Trump as a new Air Force One, although some members of Congress raised doubts that sufficient improvements — such as a missile defense system and protection from the electromagnetic effects of a nuclear blast — can be made as quickly as the White House wants.
But c’mon; how hard could it be to figure out how to install two Club steering wheel locks on the new plane’s yokes and a bumpersticker that reads “This Plane is Protected by Kristi Noem”?
We thought Sequestration was running in the Belmont Stakes: As House Republicans worked this week to settle on a deal to extend President Trump’s 2017 tax cuts for four more years, the Congressional Budget Office notified Congress that the “Big Beautiful Bill” desired by Trump threatened to add so much to the national debt — $3 trillion — that it would trigger the budget tactic of “sequestration” and require nearly $500 million in cuts to Medicare, beginning in 2026, joining already planned cuts to Medicaid and SNAP benefits.
Recognizing how important this bill is to Trump, Republicans in Congress and their wealthy patrons, it’s a good thing the nation has so many poor people who can help pay for the tax cuts.
Nickel for your thoughts: The Treasury Department, under order of President Trump, is winding down production of the penny, having ordered its last batch of blanks used to mint the coins. It’s a cost-saving measure as each penny, which is mostly zinc with a small amount of copper plating, costs almost four cents to make. In time, there won’t be enough pennies in circulation and businesses will have to round sales to the nearest nickel.
Also as a cost-saving measure, JCPenney stores will be rounded up to the nearest Dollar Tree.
The coin that says “me” twice: President Trump hosted a black-tie gala Thursday night at his Virginia golf club with the top purchasers of his $TRUMP memecoin, a cryptocurrency with no investment value but seen as a venue for access to the president that doesn’t come with the same disclosure requirements as campaign donations.
Just a warning to investors, the value of $TRUMP coins was as high as $74 soon after release in January, but has since settled at about $14 and may drop further after Thursday’s dinner. Melting down pennies would probably offer a better return on investment.
“Eric, I can’t find my fork:” Since release of the $TRUMP memecoin, the Trump family has taken in $312 million from sales and another $43 million in fees, which the White House says does not pose a conflict of interest because the assets are in a blind trust managed by his adult sons.
Along with the black-tie attire, Don Jr. and Eric, as managers of the trust, will be wearing black blindfolds during the dinner.
Email Jon Bauer at jon.bauer@heraldnet.com. Follow him on BlueSky @jontbauer.bsky.social.
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