Is that Eau de Penn State you’re wearing?

A fragrance company has concocted a cologne and perfume inspired by Penn State University. The perfume has notes of vanilla and rose, while the cologne smells like blue cypress and cracked pepper, suggesting the company’s chemists wisely avoided the boys’ dorms when looking for evocative aromas.

If colleges in this state had fragrances, Evergreen would smell like clove cigarettes with notes of hemp, WSU like sun-warmed hay with a hint of livestock, and UW like spring cherry blossoms with a whiff of bitter defeat.

The aroma of retirement accounts going up in flames must have tipped off the National Bureau of Economic Research, which announced Monday that the U.S. is in a recession and has been since December 2007. Wall Street went into a tailspin after hearing the shocking news, along with other poor economic reports and possibly a rumor that someone on the trading floor had a bad sandwich for lunch.

The gift that keeps on giving: If you know someone obsessed with cleanliness, consider a sensor-activated soap dispenser as a Christmas gift. They’ll never have to touch the pump to wash their hands. Plus, they’ll get the joy of cleaning up after the kids discover how much fun it is to dispense the whole thing onto the bathroom counter.

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