Not even February’s mom mopes over its end. Let’s review the headlines.
•“Will you McMarry me? Couple opt for McDonald’s engagement party”: After nine years, a Hong Kong couple decided to marry. But Ashely Tse regretted that her beloved never formally proposed. To rectify this, Kelvin Kwong threw a surprise engagement party for Tse. On Valentine’s Day. At McDonalds.
Kwong told CNN he chose McDonalds because “it is the last place she would ever think of.” Indeed. Our best guess: It must be one heck of a McNugget on that engagement ring.
•“Big Law’s $1,000-plus an hour club”: In a big jump, top attorneys in the U.S. are asking as much as $1,250 an hour, as big clients are willing to pay top dollar for certain types of services, the Wall Street Journal reports. Such rates do give new meaning to the phrase “gag” order.
Just for kicks, in an effort to nudge the scales ever so slightly, let’s declare every single day until the end of time “Take a Public Defender to Lunch Day.”
•“London company sells breast-milk ice cream”: The Icecreamists, a trendy ice cream parlor, says its new “Baby Gaga” flavor sold out Friday, the Associated Press reported.
The company paid women who donated their breast milk after a health screening. The “treat,” mixed with vanilla pods and lemon zest, comes in a martini glass (very classy), and sells for 14 pounds ($22.50) each. Icecreamists’ owner, Matt “I might just have some mommy issues” O’Connor, says the product is “organic, free-range and totally natural.” Well, then. Just the same, less trendy Vomitists will take a pass.
•“Scientists try to explain rash of baby dolphin deaths in Gulf”: The rest of us can non-scientifically jump to the conclusion that the worst oil spill in U.S. history, which dumped at least 200 million gallons into the Gulf of Mexico last spring, is, of course, to blame.
•“Rent-A-Husband founder settles fraud charges”: With your bigger, more important purchases, it’s probably wiser to go ahead and Buy-A-Husband.
•“Johnson & Johnson CEO gets 3 percent raise, but bonus is cut”: William Weldon’s bonus was cut after two years of revenue declines and high-profile recalls, USA Today reported. The company showed its displeasure with Weldon’s leadership by setting his salary at $1.92 million for the current year, up 3 percent from $1.86 million the previous year. And the real punishment: The company cut Weldon’s annual bonus 45 percent — to $1.87 million.
Oh, the injustice. He should really sue. A lot of top $1,250-an-hour attorneys are no doubt happy to help.
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