Those people formerly known as “financial experts” are few and far between these days, for the obvious reasons.
Sometimes, to make sense of things, it helps to go back to basics. Since no one understands the economy, we might as well start over, create a new financial narrative. Maybe generosity is good. Maybe greed is something that can be treated with pharmaceuticals, complete with TV marketing (sides effects include kind acts, uplifting thoughts, lack of desire to keep up with the Joneses). What? Big Pharma chortles with delight at the projected profit margins of an anti-greed drug (coveting-dysfunction suppressant)? Back to the drawing board.
For a financial primer, we turn to children. For those who may have missed it, the May 20 Kid Scoop page in The Herald featured the following assignment in the Weekly Writing Corner: “Describe Fair Trade.”
Fourth graders at Cascade View Elementary offered these insights into fair trade, and human motivation:
Kevin L: “I’m willing to trade for a teacher. I want to receive another teacher one that would make us play video games in class and for homework.”
Hannah K: “I would trade my brother for a bag of candy or $10. But you could only have my brother for a week or two because my mom would get mad.”
Julie L. “I will trade doing laundry for ten years for a hamster and rat.”
Ashlynn: “A deal that I think is fair is I would trade anything if I could have another bunny.”
Melissa S: “I would trade a 100 dollar necklace for 200 dollars. I would do that because money is more fun to spend than a boring ugly necklace that you just wear around your neck.”
So trading up and super-human negotiating skills are the guiding components of well, something, if not fair trade. But then one student always throws off the curve:
Austin: “I would trade some food for water. I would also trade some water for food.”
He gets extra points for not using the terms “sustainability,” “globalization” or “social responsibility.”
But it wasn’t really a fair question. And it’s hard not to subscribe to Kevin L’s way of thinking:
We are willing to trade three Mariners whose names we don’t know for Randy Johnson, Jamie Moyer and Raul Ibanez.
We are willing to trade for a boss who would make us play video games on company time. (Just joshing!)
We are willing to do laundry, and even the dishes, for 10 years if people won’t give us a rat.
What’s your Monday-morning concept of fair trade?
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