Man-made back pain real

Ah, the lazy days of summer. Is everyone playing Beach Blanket Farmville? Gidget Goes Guitar Hero? Let’s play with the headlines:

•”Perry expresses doubts on man-made global warming“: Texas govern

or and GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry called man-made global warming a scientific theory that has not been proven. That sure is an odd stance for someone who just submitted himself to a completely unproven medical treatment.

To treat his back pain, Perry had his doctor, who had never peformed the procedure before, take stem cells removed from fat in Perry’s own body, grow them in a lab and then inject them into his back and bloodstream during a July 1 operation to fuse part of his spine, the Associated Press reported. Doctors say the treatment carries potential risks ranging from blood clots to infection to cancer and may even run afoul of federal rules, AP reported. His doctor and friend, orthopedist Stanley Jones, underwent the procedcure in Japan for his arthritis and was an instant convert.

So, on the basis of Jones’ anecdotal recovery, Perry became a believer.

So, can we conclude that if global warming ever causes Perry any personal pain, watch out, he’ll jump in with both feet, Texas-style, all set to fix it?

•”Swedish man arrested over kitchen nuclear ‘reactor‘”: He was tired of the burdensome minutes-long wait presented by his microwave oven.

•”Boomers will be spending billions to counter aging“: Finally, a (pedicured) foothold on which to base an economic recovery.

•”Qantas adds ‘orgasm’ documentary to in-flight movies“: The Australian airline is under fire for offering the movie “The Female Orgasm Explained,” as part of its in-flight entertainment package offered on long-haul flights via its “The Edge” channel, USA Today reported.

Despite some critics, it turns out the movie is the single most popular offering on the “The Edge” channel. Those who oppose it say the documentary comes “agonizingly close to pornography,” as USA Today phrased it. Well, to paraphrase a disgraced comedian, “it is if they’re doing it right.”

•”Virgin Atlantic to add ‘weepy warnings’ to in-flight movies”: The British airline will give passengers “emotional health warnings” when it shows a feature that could prove to be a tearjerker, according to news reports.

The decision came after “the airline said it conducted a survey that found 41 percent of men admitted they hid under blankets to cover their tears during in-flight films,” the New York Post reported.

Oh, those emotional Brits. Even their “No Edge” channel is too much for them to take. Other movie categories/warnings include “Jolly Good Show” and “Think of England.”

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