The Buzz

Material Girl meets Multimillion-Dollar Man

As the Sonics waste no time skipping town, there are deals to be had for bargain-hunters. Team souvenirs are up to 90 percent off.

Even at a discount, fans can’t purchase any more self-respect. Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels sold all of that a couple days ago.

In related news, today’s Fugitive Watch contains an item about a man last seen driving southeast with a stolen group of tall, athletically built men. The man is described as heavyset, with a Southwestern drawl and no soul.

Watch out at the family picnic. Watermelon has been found to have Viagralike effects on men. Of course, you do have to eat a lot of watermelon to feel the effects, but don’t worry. The ladies love sticky fingers.

Tabloids are aflutter over an alleged romance between Madonna and Alex Rodriguez.

It’ll never work because of the glaring difference between them: Both have a lot of hits, but only Madonna has produced any that mattered.

And YouTube was ordered to give Viacom a list of every video ever watched on its site (Page A4). Viacom was pretty steamed when it got the list and every link went here.

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