Austrian animal rights activists want a court to declare that a 26-year-old chimpanzee is a person with legal rights so it won’t be sold if it and another chimp lose their home.
The Buzz understands they’re just trying to look out for the chimps’ welfare, but wonders if the apes have been asked if they really want to join their more evolved cousins, who are a few bananas short of a bunch.
Exhibit A: The Top Five video rentals for last week were — in order of head-scratchiness — “Blades of Glory,” “Delta Farce,” “Wild Hogs,” “Georgia Rule” and “Perfect Stranger.”
Exhibit B: President Bush and other world leaders now acknowledge that global warming exists and something must be done, but the only thing they can agree on is that somebody else will have to do it.
Exhibit C: It’s Stupid Question Day, which is celebrated in our national parks with queries such as “Where’s the on-switch for Old Faithful?”
Exhibit D: Austrian animal rights activists actually found a lawyer to take their case.
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