Sometimes, you gotta gripe

August delivers a bumper crop of unripened rants:

n What is it about urban neighborhood streets that makes drivers of big cars, SUVs and trucks routinely straddle the yellow center line like they are more afraid of parked cars than the actual moving car coming their way?

Because big vehicles, by virtue of their bigness, which simply can’t be contained, have “the right of way” to take up as much room as the drivers believe they deserve? Because the Tundra knows the Tercel is no match for its brawn and steel? Practice for “I’m a ‘road-rage-ologist’ ” Everett Clinic ad?

n The women of the world would like to thank professional flip-flopper, er, football player Brett Favre for giving them a quick comeback the next time anyone sarcastically says, “It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.”

n It’s great when grocery clerks are friendly. It’s less great when they demand, “So what are you up to today?” with the implication that everyone is out having fun while only grocery store workers work. A reply of “not much” or “getting off work” just brings further questioning.

Chatty clerks need to keep in mind people might be coming from the unemployment office, a busy emergency room shift, a fight at home. Also quite unnecessary is a running commmentary on purchases: “Oh, my, that’s pricey.” “Have you tried this?” “Boy, that’s sure one spoiled cat.”

n On the other hand, the grace and patience shown by a young, non-chatty clerk earlier this summer at the Everett Safeway on Broadway, as his line grew longer and edgier as he dealt with a non-English speaking woman with gallons of milk that turned out to be the kind not on sale, was remarkable.

With no one to help him, he ended up calmly retrieving the right milk himself. It’s good to let managers know about clerks like that.

n When an assisted living/independent living facility for senior citizens big and boldly uses your first name in a billboard ad (As in: When accountant Cynthia retired, she turned in her calculator for garden clippers), does it make you chuckle softly at how a name can be “generational” or curse loudly because people with your name can’t possibly be retiring yet? If it’s the latter, just imagine a future ad: When Courtknee retired, she turned in her iPod for hearing aids and a name people could spell.

n Is it animal cruelty to go to a field and practice your “Frisbee golf” throws with dozens of Frisbees and make your dog sit there and watch?

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