Movin’ out

Movin’ out

The government seized convicted swindler Bernie Madoff’s luxury penthouse apartment in Manhattan, which his wife earlier had sought to keep — along with about $62 million for “living expenses.”

But Ruth Madoff was forced to leave, and her current whereabouts are uncertain. We see three possibilities:

* She’s crashing on the couch at her former doorman’s apartment in Queens.

* She’s living in a van down by the river.

* She bought a home in Detroit for $1,500.

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This is Ground Control: The new science-fiction movie “Moon” was directed by David Bowie’s son. The kid ticked off his dad by not finding a role for Major Tom.

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In another science-fiction tale that’s light-years from reality, a beautiful 19-year-old woman is attracted to a bald, homely, obnoxious middle-aged man in “Whatever Works.”

But we hear that Woody Allen’s next film will shoot for gritty realism: In it, a beautiful 21-year-old woman will respond to a bald, homely, obnoxious middle-age man’s advances by first snapping “(bleep) off,” then by dialing 911.