Must have? Uh, maybe not

While it’s true that some businesses are not investing in themselves these days, the broad “tech” industry is a notable exception. In an economic/symbolic change, Apple is now the most valuable company in the United States, edging out Exxon Mobil, which held the top spot since 2005.

Dreaming up cool products that “people didn’t know they needed” is Apple’s genius, as evidenced by the iMac, iPhone, iPod and iPad. Which, in turn, have given other innovative people the chance to create and sell “apps” for the devices.

So it makes sense that tech companies are “all-in” when comes to trying to invent the next big tech “must have.” And since everyone already carries a cell phone, companies are focused on creating something novel, and are employing engineers toward that end, the Wall Street Journal reported.

A startup company called 24eight has invented a wireless diaper, the paper reported. (As opposed to diapers that have to be plugged in?) An embedded cellular chip can send a “diaper wet” alert via text message to a cellphone. The diaper will come in handy for working parents, CEO David Schieffelin told the WSJ.

“A parent can remotely monitor a care center and get ‘diaper wet’ messages when they are at work,” Schieffelin said. (So they can immediately update the baby’s Facebook status? So they can call the caregiver and tell them the diaper needs changing?)

Since wailing babies are their own form “diaper wet” alert, the company might discover that the invention serves a more-needed purpose as a way to get the attention of staff or family caring for elderly or disabled people in assisted living or hospitals.

Another 24eight invention — SmartSlippers — is aimed at elderly people, WSJ reported. The idea is that if grandma is unsteady on her feet, an “accelerometer” will sense trouble and send a text over the carrier’s network to a family member or doctor.

“Think of what can be gathered just off your feet,” Schieffelin said. “Why shouldn’t something as innocuous as a data device be placed into fuzzy slippers?”

Because it’s a little creepy? Because fuzzy slippers might not be the best footwear for people who are unsteady on their feet? Because grandma may not want a call every time she wobbles through the house?

Again, a better application might be found. Maybe law enforcement will one day have “The Fuzz’s Fuzzy Slippers,” which will measure a DUI suspect’s blood alcohol level while calculating their performance of roadside sobriety tests.

Alert! SmartSlippers just texted: Put on your thinking cap, and join the new economy.

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