Nakedly trashing others

Are we still cranky? Can we declare this “bring your good mood to work” day? Let’s take a chipper look at the headlines:

•”Incivility a growing problem

at work, psychologists say“: Well, those therapists ought to be nicer to each other then, shouldn’t they?

•”Levi Johnston’s sister bashes Bristol Palin in ‘Playboy‘”: She also poses nude as the Palin-Johnston feud continues. Apparently naked vulnerability didn’t soften her. What’s in that Alaska water? Mean, gossipy bacteria?

•”Affair with president’s wife shakes Vermont university“: A month after University of Vermont president Daniel Fogel resigned, a school fundraiser also left after an investigation into his affair with Fogel’s wife, Reuters reported.

Michael Schultz, an associate vice president for development, accepted a severance package and departed last week. The school’s board of trustees conducted a review of the relationship between Schultz and Rachel Kahn-Fogel, the president’s wife and a volunteer in the fundraising office.

The investigation found Kahn-Fogel’s conduct was “clearly inappropriate and imprudent” but did not violate state laws or school policies. The review found no wrongdoing on Schultz’s part. Why then, would the university be eager for him to leave?

It may be because the investigation found no wrong-doing in Schultz earning his doctorate with the university-approved dissertation “Elucidating the Role of the University CEO’s Spouse in Development, Alumni Relations, and Fundraising,” Reuters reported.

Oh, so that’s what “elucidating” means. What a vigorous, er, rigorous, field of study.

•”Kissing in the office a form of ‘terrorism,’ German group says“: The German Knigge Society, an etiquette watchdog, doesn’t like the trend of people greeting each other with a kiss on the cheek, or worse, both cheeks, French-style. Shaking hands is the proper way to greet others, the group says. It’s understood that the Knigge Society forbids elucidating with coworkers or customers.

•”Barefoot Bandit signs movie deal“: In the interest of repaying the victims, the agreement should include a clause guaranteeing that the movie will be shot on location in all the difference communities Colton Harris Moore committed his crimes, thus bringing some income to the locals. Plus the chance to be an extra in a movie!

• “Law grads sue over tuition“: Their professors must be so proud.

•”Texas’ Longhorn Network sparks debate in college athletics“: The new ESPN channel will broadcast round-the-clock coverage of the University of Texas. Its plan to also show high school games has created controversy — about whether it would give the university a recruiting edge. What brave academic will pursue the dissertation “Elucidating the Role of ESPN in Development, Alumni Relations and Fundraising.”