No bones about it

Christie’s is having a mammoth auction. No, really. It’s selling a 15,000-year-old mammoth skeleton, along with a meteorite, a dinosaur egg and some pearly thing that formed in an herbivore’s stomach and once resembled something you wouldn’t want to get on your shoes (http://www.heraldnet.com/stories/07/04/16/100wir_a2mammoth001.cfm).

The auction is expected to attract scientists, serious collectors and hunters who want a unique piece for the trophy room. We wanted to bid, but the mammoth bones just didn’t match the carpet.

Students at Lakewood High School really, really want to pass the WASL. For them, passing confers not only the sense of achievement that comes with knowing they get to graduate, but also something else they want almost as much: off-campus lunch (http://www.heraldnet.com/stories/07/04/16/100loc_a1wasl001.cfm).

Other schools might want to follow Lakewood’s example. Here are a few options for administrators to consider:

Waive gym class.Why force the kids to huff and puff around the track and feign an aptitude for flag football when they could be exercising their minds in a nice elective instead?

Let them skip pep rallies. There’s no more surefire way to improve school spirit.

Exempt them from chem lab. This will protect students’ precious brain cells from all those fumes, and school property from unauthorized experiments by budding pyrotechnicians.

— Katie Mayer, Herald staff

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Opinion

toon
Editorial cartoons for Tuesday, May 13

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

The Washington State Legislature convenes for a joint session for a swearing-in ceremony of statewide elected officials and Governor Bob Ferguson’s inaugural address, March 15, 2025.
Editorial: 4 bills that need a second look by state lawmakers

Even good ideas, such as these four bills, can fail to gain traction in the state Legislature.

A ‘hands-on’ president is what we need

The “Hands Off” protesting people are dazed and confused. They are telling… Continue reading

Climate should take precedence in protests against Trump

In recent weeks I have been to rallies and meetings joining the… Continue reading

Comment: Trump conditioning citizenship on wealth, background

Selling $5 million ‘gold visas’ and ending the birthright principle would end citizenship as we know it.

Comment: A 100% tariff on movies? How would that even work?

The film industry is a export success for the U.S. Tariffs would only make things harder for U.S. films.

Goldberg: Can Hakeem Jeffries and Democrats break through?

Struggling in the polls themselves, the Democrats’ leader says the focus is on comparisons with Republicans.

toon
Editorial cartoons for Monday, May 12

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

FILE - The sun dial near the Legislative Building is shown under cloudy skies, March 10, 2022, at the state Capitol in Olympia, Wash. An effort to balance what is considered the nation's most regressive state tax code comes before the Washington Supreme Court on Thursday, Jan. 26, 2023, in a case that could overturn a prohibition on income taxes that dates to the 1930s. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren, File)
Editorial: What state lawmakers acheived this session

A look at some of the more consequential policy bills adopted by the Legislature in its 105 days.

Comment: To save the church, let’s talk nuns, not just popes

The church can save some parishes if it allows nuns to do the ‘field hospital’ work Pope Francis talked of.

Comment: RFK Jr.’s measles strategy leading U.S. down dark path

As misinformation increases, vaccinations are decreasing, causing a rise in the spread of measles.

Comment: Energy Star a boon to consumers; of course it has to go

In it’s 30-plus years it’s saved consumers $500 billion, cut carbon emissions and actually delivers efficiency.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.