Saw Sen. Ted Cruz this morning on The FoxZombies Show noting that guns are not the problem in shootings. He’s convinced me that there’s no need to address the mass-shooting issue, so let’s turn these now common events into national 50/40/10 lotteries, managed by the NRA.
Fifty percent of the revenue will go to the winner, forty percent to the victims’ families, and ten percent to the NRA to cover the cost of an engraved assault-style weapon to be presented to the winner. Any remaining NRA funds will be used to lobby “our” senators and representatives.
Pay your entry fee and fill out your card with your guesses on the next shooting location, the anticipated date, type of venue (school, church, indoor or outdoor event, etc.), number of dead, number of injured, type of weapon used, number of shots fired, and so on. The NRA can use past mass-shootings to create numerous categories.
Naturally, you most likely won’t find a winner who gets all of the categories correct, so we assign points to the categories, and the person who amasses the most mass-shooting points will be flown to Congress for a special State of the Shootings award ceremony.
In the event that there are multiple winners on the same lottery, duels will be held and the survivor will be awarded a special medal presented by Ted Cruz and the president of the NRA.