Old toy soldiers never die

At ease, men: Little green army men have been inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame.

“The entire little green army man division is honored,” the walkie-talkie-holding spokesman said as he accepted the honor on behalf of the retired grenade-thrower, who now holds a cocktail shaker; the minesweeper who now uses his metal detector to look for coins; and the bazooka guy, who operates a T-shirt cannon at sporting events.

Nothing by nyet: Try as he might, Russian President Vladimir Putin has been unable to break the chill between himself and President Barack Obama. Obama rebuffed Putin over small talk about the weather and deftly avoided a backslap from the Russian leader.

As a last resort, Putin challenged Obama to a friendly game of hoops, even offering to be “skins.”

Don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows: The mayor of a Chicago suburb wants to ban saggy pants, adding that he won’t consider the fashion socially acceptable until he sees “weather newscasters on TV with their pants halfway down.”

This explains the mayor’s plaid pants and loud tie.

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