Perverts can’t fool Facebook anymore

Facebook is introducing new protections to keep the perverts out. Apparently, just asking “Are you a pervert?” on the membership questionnaire wasn’t good enough.

Now there will be more than 40 new safeguards. Some highlights among the new questions:

No. 3. Are you, or have you ever been, a big fan of Pee Wee Herman?

No. 14. Is your middle name Earl?

No. 18. Are you a senator from Idaho?

No. 19. Are you a congressman from Florida?

No. 23. Have you ever appeared in The Herald’s Fugitive Watch?

No. 36. When you’re chatting online, how long should you wait before asking for dirty pictures?

A woman writes to Dear Abby today to complain about a suspected gold digger. She says the woman in question is 20 years younger than her wealthy fiance and was seen waving his credit card around, saying “look what I’ve got.”

Abby says she’s right, but they’re not really seeing both sides of this thing. They haven’t seen her fiance driving her around on the golf course, saying “look what I’ve got.”

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