Everything must go! Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich’s days in power appear to be numbered. So, now’s the time to get a good deal on that cushy patronage job you’ve always wanted.
Meanwhile, it’s time for Blagojevich to think ahead to his next gig. Hair Club representative at the Illinois state prison is the obvious choice, but here are a few other things he could do:
Become a judge on “American Idol”: The show is shaking up its format next year. There’ll be fewer tryouts and more competition, along with different celebrity judges. Paula Abdul’s Coca-Cola cup will continue to be spiked at random intervals.
Marry Madonna: The singer settled her divorce by paying her ex-husband at least $76 million. That’s 152 times as much money as the highest alleged offer fielded by the governor for a U.S. Senate seat, which sounds about right. Being a senator has to be 152 times easier than being married to Madonna.
Take up skydiving: There surely are plenty of people willing to pack Blagojevich’s parachute and push him out of the plane.
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