In Our View

Romance lives on … sort of

Valentine-related headlines reassure a weary nation that romance is not dead:

  • “AARP says ‘sexting’ is a hit for the over-50 set.” Goodness gracious. (Is it our ageist society that makes “Granny Clampett,” rather than Isabella Rossellini, come to mind?) Whatever. Members of the lusty, not notoriously tech savvy, over-50 set just needs to keep their cell phones far, far away from their grandchildren/children or be prepared to pay for their lifelong therapy.
  • “Blue whales are singing in a lower key.” California researchers found that the whales’ voices have dropped by more than half an octave since the 1960s. Unable to explain the voice change, researchers surmised “that whales would rather not sing in higher voices if they didn’t have to,” the Los Angeles Times reported. They prefer deep and manly — “a lower, sexier frequency,” said researcher Mark McDonald. That would be the “Barry White of the Sea” theory.
  • “‘Love doctor’ to boost D.C. tourism.” “Psychosexual therapist” Dr. Ruth Westheimer was sworn in as the city’s honorary secretary of the “Department of Love and Relationships” for a monthlong promotion. She was scheduled to announce a new “stimulus plan” for tourism, AP (heh heh) reported. But then came all the snow! We know what that means — nine months from now, much of the Midwest and East will experience a small baby boom. All without Dr. Ruth’s help.
  • “Group gives out 100,000 endangered species condoms for Valentine’s Day.” The promotion is designed to highlight the impact of human overpopulation on wildlife.

    For the record, it’s the condom package, rather than the contents, that features endangered species.

    The Center for Biological Diversity is distributing six different packages, with original artwork and slogans. One that can be repeated features the Northwest’s own spotted owl. “Wear a condom now, save the spotted owl.” (Even clunkier than “Give a hoot — don’t reproduce.”)

  • “No wives for 24 million Chinese men”: China’s 20-year-old gender imbalance continues to grow. In 2005, there were 119 boys for every 100 girls in China. In some areas the ratio was as high as 130-100.

    Perhaps it was this news that prompted Royal Caribbean Cruises to announce it would offer in-demand “cougar cruises,” not long after the Carnival Cruise Line hosted its first, and last, such cruise — a voyage aimed at older women who like to pursue younger men. Carnival didn’t give a reason for axing the concept — but the ship likely lacked the proper number of “cubs” for the “cougars” to pursue.

    Royal Caribbean sees the potential.

    Now it’s just a matter of getting 24 million eligible Chinese bachelor cubs onboard.

    Talk to us

    • Previous
    Perhaps majority should decide
    Next
    Forget the war on Christmas; it’s a war on Cupid

    More in Opinion

    toon
    Editorial cartoons for Monday, Oct. 2

    A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

    FILE — In this Sept. 17, 2020 file photo, provided by the Idaho Department of Fish and Game, Chelbee Rosenkrance, of the Idaho Department of Fish and Game, holds a male sockeye salmon at the Eagle Fish Hatchery in Eagle, Idaho. Wildlife officials said Tuesday, Aug. 10, 2021, that an emergency trap-and-truck operation of Idaho-bound endangered sockeye salmon, due to high water temperatures in the Snake and Salomon rivers, netted enough fish at the Granite Dam in eastern Washington, last month, to sustain an elaborate hatchery program. (Travis Brown/Idaho Department of Fish and Game via AP, File)
    Editorial: Pledge to honor treaties can save Columbia’s salmon

    The Biden administration commits to honoring tribal treaties and preserving the rivers’ benefits.

    Comment: Online retailers should follow FTC’s lead in Amazon suit

    The antitrust suit provides a rule book on how to incentivize rather than punish sellers and customers.

    Comment: Starbucks’ reusuable cups aren’t so climate-friendly

    Some reusable products generate more emissions than the disposable items they’re meant to replace.

    Comment: Parental vigilance of social media can go too far

    A shift from “monitoring” to “mentoring” can allow teens to learn to make their own wise choices.

    Patricia Gambis, right, talks with her 4-year-old twin children, Emma, left, and Etienne in their home, Thursday, Jan. 24, 2019, in Maplewood, N.J. Gambis' husband, an FBI agent, has been working without pay during the partial United States government shutdown, which has forced the couple to take financial decisions including laying off their babysitter. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez)
    Editorial: Shutdown hits kids, families at difficult moment

    The shutdown risks food aid for low-income families as child poverty doubled last year and child care aid ends.

    Sen. June Robinson, D-Everett, left, and Sen. Mark Mullet, D-Issaquah, right, embrace after a special session to figure out how much to punish drug possession on Tuesday, May 16, 2023, in Olympia, Wash. Without action, Washington's drug possession law will expire July 1, leaving no penalty in state law and leaving cities free to adopt a hodgepodge of local ordinances. (Karen Ducey/The Seattle Times via AP)
    Editorial: Robinson smart choice to head Senate budget panel

    A 10-year legislative veteran, the Everett senator displays a mastery of legislation and negotiation.

    Randall Tharp’s month recovery coins after battling a fentanyl addiction. (Kevin Clark / The Herald)
    Fentanyl crisis should force rethinking of approach

    A continuum of care, that includes treatment in jails, is imperative, says a journalist and author.

    Eco-nomics: Climate report card: Needs more effort but shows promise

    A UN report shows we’re not on track to meet goals, but there are bright spots with clean energy.

    Most Read