Romance, repentance, and a year of snakes, oh my

It’s a big week ahead, (as far as February goes), starting with the Chinese New Year today — 2013 is the Year of the Snake. As with all things astrological, this means it has potential for good and bad, despite the overwhelmingly bad “snaky” connotations and associations in our everyday lexicon. Make of it what you will. (Time to shed your skin? Or give someone a squeeze?)

Next comes Mardi Gras, or Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, and Thursday is Valentine’s Day. So, this wouldn’t be the year to give up chocolate for Lent. Let’s parade through the carnival of headlines:

•”Florida’s big python hunt going out with a whimper”: Invasive species notoriously evasive, AlertNet niftily summarizes, so the phrase can rattle around in your head until you’re seeing or hearing snakes. Yikes. If it’s going to be the literal Year of the invasive Snake, ophidiophobia support groups better proliferate at the same rate.

  • Pianist’s music fails to put tortoises in the mood”: Maybe we can infer the giant animals, and many other zoo creatures, would actually appreciate a little privacy, rather than an audience and musical accompaniment. And considering that Galapagos tortoises can live for over 150 years, perhaps it makes perfect sense that their mating ritual might be a years-long process (which frustrates humans who want to speed up the process) that glacially, eventually culminates in some out-of-the-shell action. (“Tortoise coitus” is hard to say, not that anyone would want to.) For further information, see “The Slowsky Sutra” by Bill and Karolyn Slowsky (the turtles of the Comcast commercials.)
  • Japan town demands underwear for Michelangelo’s David”: The 16-foot-tall marble statue was donated by a businessman who hails from the area. The unnerved residents were concerned that without some modesty, David the statue would never meet the Japanese patented cartoon-character-pillow-doll-girlfriend of his dreams. (An actual phenomena that needs no further exploring.)

Breasts, buttocks banned by CBS from Grammys”: Hmm. Most people are pretty attached to those parts. And like their credit card, don’t leave home without them. Is Grammy having a senior moment?

Safe to say the brains behind China’s “one-child policy” never saw this coming.

Be sure to wear your (fashionably gray) “I’m With Cupid” T-shirt as you infer stuff this week.

Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472, cmacpherson@heraldnet.com

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Opinion

toon
Editorial cartoons for Tuesday, Feb. 18

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

FILE - In this Friday, Oct. 4, 2019, file photo, a man using an electronic cigarette exhales in Mayfield Heights, Ohio. On Tuesday, Nov. 19, 2019, the American Medical Association said it is calling for an immediate ban on all electronic cigarette and vaping devices. (AP Photo/Tony Dejak, File)
Editorial: Shut down flavored tobacco’s gateway to youths

Legislation in Olympia would bar the use of flavors and menthol in vape products and cigarettes.

Herald report of Everett protest inaccurate, biased

I was at the rally and protest in Everett last on Feb.… Continue reading

Media shouldn’t use ‘she’ for trans people

About 79 percent of Americans oppose those observed male at birth from… Continue reading

USAID freeze halts vital aid work

I am outraged the Trump administration is making the U.S. weaker in… Continue reading

Goldberg: Trump declares war on higher ed, not just woke parts

The move, aided by Elon Musk, to gut NIH funding, is part of a larger and debilitating attack on academia.

Comment: Trump’s Kennedy Center will narrow exposure to art

Trump’s move to takeover the Kennedy Center is not about the arts but about celebrating his tastes.

toon
Editorial cartoons for Monday, Feb. 17

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Rivian, based in Irvine, Calif., has introduced its new R2 models, smaller and more affordable SUVs. (Rivian)
Editorial: Open electric vehicle market to direct sales

Legislation would allow EV makers to sell directly to customers, making lease or purchase easier.

Comment: No one saw Musk’s DOGE rampage coming or its threat

With no formal grant of authority, Musk is making cuts without fully understanding the consequences.

Douthat: Trump is chasing off lawyers he’ll need at some point

The deal to clear Adams serves Trump only as a way of identify whom he can consider loyal in the DOJ.

President Donald Trump listens alongside Elon Musk as he explains the administration’s cost-cutting efforts in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington, on Tuesday, Feb. 11, 2025. Musk has for weeks posted on social media about government spending, often amplifying and seeding false information. (Eric Lee/The New York Times)
Comment: This crisis can’t be left to courts alone

The courts can uphold the law, but they can’t match the speed of the executive branch in tearing down systems.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.