I was going to rent “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” the other day. But, when I went to the video store, all I could find was the Ron Sims re-make, “The Grinch Who Stole the Holidays” – starring himself. A sick feeling came over me and I decided to buy some Christmas music instead. Looking for all my traditional favorites, proved somewhat frustrating as I could only find such titles as; “Have Yourself a Very Merry Holiday,” “Oh Holiday Tree, Oh Holiday Tree,” and, of course, “I’m Dreaming of a Neutrally Colored Holiday.” My nausea grew more intense and I left for home. There, much to my shock and amazement, the local news was reporting that King County Executive Ron Sims was telling all employees that they could no longer say the words, “Merry Christmas.”
Had I moved to Communist Cuba, I wondered out loud? Until last year, Christmas had been against the law there – for 30 years! As I drifted off to sleep, humming “Silent Night, Holy Night,” a sound on my roof woke me up. Could it be the PC thought police? I determined a moment of silence would be safer. Could it be Santa? Maybe. I suddenly realized that without Christmas he could show up any day now. So I got up, hung my holiday lights and baked some fat-free, sugar-free cookies for that jolly stomach-enhanced fellow. I hope he isn’t offended by them.
Merry Christmas!
Everett
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