Oh, come on, generation whatever. Do they really need to be told not to Tweet while intoxicated, while on the job? Rep. Rick Larsen’s former aides were apparently trying to challenge former Rep. Anthony Weiner for top Twit of 2011. Let’s look at other headlines in the waning weeks of the year:
•”Fossils show shrimp-like superpredator’s eyes had 32,000 lenses”: All the better to see you with, my dear.
The 3- to 6-foot-long creatures, called Anomalocaris, sported a pair of barbed arms that protruded like pincers in front of its head, and a circular mouth with rasp-like serrations. “Grandmother, what big rasp-like serrations you have!”
•”Arrested former Colorado sheriff held in jail that bears his name”: There’s hitting rock bottom and then there’s this. When former Sheriff Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. was arrested two weeks ago, he was held in the Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. Detention Facility, the Los Angeles Times reported.
Once named the nation’s sheriff of the year, Sullivan is accused of trying to trade methamphetamine for sex with another man. He also faces a charge of attempting to influence a public servant.
Meanwhile, officials in Arapahoe County, where Sullivan was elected sheriff five times, announced they would reconsider the county’s naming policy, the Associated Press reported. Oh, if they must. But it’s probably the first time the citizens actually know the name of the “detention facility,” which most people likely call the “county jail.”
•”More drivers texting at wheel, despite state bans”: Of course they are. The government study on distracted driving backs up many previous studies that show people don’t think they pose a danger when they drive and text or talk on the phone, but they believe others doing the same thing are the dangerous ones. We tried to text “hypocrisy,” but it came out &*(^#@!@% because there was a bump in the road.
”Flying squirrel invades New Jersey emergency room”: The agitated rodent held staff and patients hostage while demanding to see Dr. House, of “House, MD” fame, to explain his baffling symptoms, such as burying nuts but not remembering where. House’s team diagnoses Rocket J. Squirrel with multiple personality disorder, including a cartoon character, and Munchausen’s syndrome: The mean personality gave himself rabies; nice Rocky doesn’t remember it. House hires him for the prank value.
”Twitter unveils massive site redesign”: The site will roll out the changes — meant to make it faster and easier to use — in the coming weeks, USA Today reported.
“Faster” and “easier” are scary good reminders to always Twitter sober, or have a designated Tweeter.
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
