Some things really aren’t all that hard to figure out

  • Larry Simoneaux / Larry Simoneaux lives in Edmonds.
  • Monday, October 3, 2005 9:00pm
  • Opinion

Caught myself in the middle of some woolgathering the other day.

Here were some of the fibers that clung to my brain:

* Anyone else, after having watched the coverage of the recent hurricanes, think that a whole bunch of reporters skipped the lesson on coming in out of the rain? One or two shots of someone standing in the middle of a hurricane and I think we’ve got the picture that there’s a lot of wind and rain in these things. However, after watching reporter after reporter doing the same thing over and over, it’s hard to avoid the thought that some of these people are about two feathers short of a duck.

* Someone once said that government statistics are a highly logical and precise method of stating a half-truth inaccurately in order to procure excessive funding for an overdue project that’ll never work. I couldn’t add a word to that.

* Is anyone else tired of those terminally earnest types who seem to populate television talk shows telling us that we’ve got to make sure we’re all just filled to the brim with self-esteem? Unfortunately, their general approach is along the lines of “let’s just hand out smiley faces to everyone.”

Real self-esteem isn’t something to be “given.” It’s earned. It comes from doing something tough. It comes from getting up one more time than you’ve been knocked down. It comes from looking around at others who’ve accomplished something and saying, “I can do that too,” and then doing it. Find the people who’ve done this and you’ll find that they possess a case-hardened, blued-steel self-esteem that’s about as fragile as a tank. This approach has worked since about forever – even without the smiley faces.

* Strange that we’re still reluctant to arm airline pilots. Part of this probably has to do with the fear of a pilot either injuring a passenger or destroying the airplane. The alternative to possibly injuring a passenger, however, is the absolute certainty that all of those F-15s and F-16s based here and there around the country will blow that same airliner – and all of its occupants – out of the sky if need be.

As for a 9mm bringing down a 777, do remember that Boeing makes most of these things. Think back to the images from World War II of Boeing’s B-17s coming home from missions with more holes in them than Swiss cheese. Those planes have only gotten better since then.

* Along these same lines, is there anyone who really believes that asking “Did you pack your own bags today?” is an effective way to prevent a bomb from getting aboard a plane?

* Isn’t it about time that we regained some sense of decorum, propriety and good taste and did away with Viagra commercials?

* Have you noticed that we’re not hearing much about “zero tolerance” (i.e., “no thought required”) policies in schools lately? One hopes they’ve gone the way of the dinosaurs – especially where schools are concerned. Maybe we’ve finally returned to where we’re allowing principals and teachers to exercise judgment tempered with experience rather than making them enforce some draconian rule or other. Such would prevent, as an actual example, a student being suspended for violating a school’s zero tolerance policy on alcohol by drinking grape juice and joking that she was drinking wine.

Sister Mary Isabelle – my grammar school principal – would’ve just said, “Knock it off or you’ll be writing that on the board a hundred times after school.” End of joke. End of discussion. End of problem.

* Being from Louisiana and knowing the level of political chicanery that can occur down there, I’m hoping that there’s a really flinty-eyed, no-nonsense kind of government accountant minding all of the money that’s headed that way. If not, a lot of that money is going to go places where it’ll never be seen again.

* I read a recent article about how many kids here in Snohomish County don’t finish high school each year. What with the growing global economy, outsourcing of jobs, and the umpteen million kids in places like China and India who are just gobbling up learning, you have to wonder what, if anything, these kids are thinking. To borrow a phrase from General Honore down in Louisiana, we might want to warn them that they’re not only about to get “Stuck on stupid,” they’re downright welding themselves to it.

Finally,

* What is it that makes babies and puppies smell so darned good?

Larry Simoneaux lives in Edmonds. Comments can be sent to larrysim@att.net.

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