Sometimes you feel like a nut

Must have had a peanut allergy: After studying the teeth of pre-humans who lived between 1.4 million and 1.9 million years ago, scientists admit the nickname they had given Paranthropus boisei no longer fits. “Nutcracker Man,” with his large teeth

and powerful jaw, mostly ate grasses and not nuts.

Although when having a beer at the local watering hole, P. boisei would help himself to free pretzels.

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The Taitz test: Calling President Barack Obama’s recently released birth certificate “inventive computer art,” so-called “birther” and so-called lawyer Orly Taitz argued her case before a federal appeals court that Obama can’t prove he’s a citizen.

When Taitz was asked to prove that he wasn’t, she thought for a moment, then vanished in a puff of logic.

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He does know Jack:
President Obama and his national security team anxiously watched events in Abbottabad, Pakistan, from the White House Situation Room as they unfolded Sunday as a Navy SEAL team stormed Osama bin Laden’s hideout and killed the notorious terrorist.

Only Vice President Joe Biden seemed to enjoy himself, but only because he thought he was watching a DVD of season 8 of Keifer Sutherland in “24.”

–Jon Bauer, Herald staff