Look, up in the sky; it’s the Slug Signal: Seattle crimefighter Phoenix Jones, the self-proclaimed superhero in a form-fitting suit, was back on patrol Saturday after prosecutors declined to press charges for assault following an earlier alterc
ation. Jones claims he was trying to break up a fight.
Even so, his arrest isn’t sitting well with the other caped crusaders in the Emerald City League of Do-Gooders, including Slugman and Snailboy, Capt. Starbucks, Initiative-Man and Parka Boy.
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Let’s get small: A review of studies by animal and plant scientists says global warming may be responsible for the decline in individual size for several species of flora and fauna, including sheep, polar bears, salmon, frogs, robins and even corn and strawberries.
The Institute for Quasi-Scientific Climate Change Denial immediately refuted the study, pointing to their steadily expanding bellies as proof.
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Nuts dipped in chocolate: Switzerland’s greatest chocolatiers gathered in Geneva for a festival of rare and top-quality chocolate, including one that sells for $33.50 a bar. “You won’t find Toblerone here,” sniffed one festival organizer.
What do you want to bet that when nobody’s looking he’s the first guy in line at the county fair’s deep-fried Snickers booth?
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